Put on your “Satan regalia” and get ready to swipe right on the boozy menace more affectionately known as Krampus, German’s famous Anti-Santa. Kids these days don’t know how good they have it with their damn Elf on the Shelf! Meanwhile, Christine missed the Christmas memo and went with a story about Tamara Sansanova, AKA the Granny Ripper, instead. Sansanova casually made some tea and killed 14 people. But at least she’s still playing peek-a-boo in jail. If there’s anything that you take away from this episode, we hope it’s that 1) everything was a sex demon in the 1960s, and 2) your organs are garbage.