235: This Austin-Based Community Builder Will Teach You How to Make Mom Friends

Do you wish you had mom friends who would push you, who would get you out of a rut? Do you feel like you don't have a community that you belong in? I know this pops up oftentimes during the summer season. And so I wanted this conversation to soothe your soul and give you a chance to change that.

Let’s connect if this resonates with you: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/

Do you ever feel lonely? I can relate. As a mom in those early days, the feeling of loneliness was all too familiar. I remember nursing my son, waiting for my husband to get home, and feeling the weight of solitude. Similarly, when I launched my business, I found myself at my kitchen table grappling with business challenges without a sounding board. Loneliness is not uncommon for moms or entrepreneurs, but it has certainly been amplified by the pandemic.

However, amidst these challenges, we now have the option to connect online. That's why today's conversation is so important. Allow me to introduce you to Cherie Werner, a proud Austinite for 35 years and the founder and CEO of Fiesta, an inclusive startup community. Cherie brings a wealth of experience and a deep commitment to fostering success and connections.

I'm thrilled to host this conversation because I believe connecting with others who share similar experiences or have advanced perspectives in motherhood or entrepreneurship is crucial for success.

So, enjoy the conversation with Cherie and notice her “fertile imagination”, a guide for maximizing every mom's superpower for maximum impact. That's the title of my book, by the way. Cherie exemplifies this imagination by creating unique connections and community, especially when she decided to homeschool her daughters. You'll hear how she achieved this, involving dads, kids, and families in a vibrant community. It's a testament to what's possible when you awaken and stretch your imagination, a process I detail in my book, which you can find at www.fertileideas.com.

Also noteworthy is that this episode is brought to you by: From Contact to Connection: The Mompreneur’s Go-First Networking & Follow Up Playbook: https://witty-thinker-2643.ck.page/21e52edb87

Download my step by step networking and follow-up process, as well as out-of-the-box proven ways to build relationships with the busiest of influencers, prospective podcast guests, and mentors! WARNING: this is for ambitious AF moms with growing businesses. AND BONUS: 30-second elevator pitch template included!

The free playbook helps you:

-Write an elevator pitch that will be memorable and distinguish you from everyone else.

-Improve your networking skills, especially if you’re a mom founder who can’t go out and leave it to chance that she’ll meet the business investor, mentor, or partner of her dreams.

-Learn how to become a better networker without feeling like a fish out of water.

-Write your emails to introduce yourself to strangers without overthinking how to begin an email or how to prove in the email that speaking with you will be worth their time.

-Push beyond the fear that often holds you back, thinking “Oh, I can’t do that” or “Who am I to approach that person?”

-Think strategically about your outreach goals by considering why you want to talk to specific people, along with what you need to know so you don’t get caught out there feeling like a deer in headlights without the right words to say.

-Think ahead about how you intend to make it worth their time and how you can use your platform to feature them as an expert, among other things.

-Calm your networking jitters beforehand by guiding you on how to research the event and its attendees before heading out.

-Gain fresh ideas for follow-ups that will feel good to you and the recipient, instead of just emailing the person over and over again.

-Use a timeframe to conduct your networking or outreach efforts so they become a habit.

-And includes email templates galore!

Official bio for Cherie

I'm Cherie Werner—a native Texan and a proud Austinite for 35 years. As the Founder and (CEO) Chief Empowerment Officer of FIESTA, an inclusive startup community, I bring a wealth of experience and a deep commitment to fostering success and connections. With 38 years of marriage to Jon Werner and our three daughters as my top priorities, my journey in mentoring began in college. It evolved into a rich history of community building, exemplified by the growth of the Austin WholeHearted Home School community (1995-2001). Collaborating on startup ventures like Bones in Motion (2001-2008) and KOYA Innovations (2018-2023) has equipped me with unique insights and empathy into the founder's journey. At FIESTA, we've hosted over 50 events, welcoming 7,000+ attendees since July 2021, and achieved a remarkable 65% growth in 2023 and 2022. As a certified life coach, I am dedicated to creating a dynamic environment where entrepreneurs can thrive, forge meaningful relationships, be seen, and succeed. I am excited to bring this spirit of collaboration, empowerment, and drive to the vibrant Austin Tech community.

Links:
https://fiesta.community

https://www.instagram.com/cheriewerner/

https://www.facebook.com/cherie.werner

Transcript:

Cherie, I wanted to just launch the conversation around the idea of seeking connection and community.

So I know that for moms, it feels, it feels lonely, especially those early days when you're a new mom. And when you're just like wondering to yourself, how did I, how am I going to do this? How am I going to survive? And then entrepreneurship is kind of the same thing. At least. At first, it's a lonely endeavor.

And so you're at a different mom stage than me. I have school age kids. You have adults. So first, like, are we going to survive? And then second, share some wisdom that can help us feel connected. And like, we're part of something bigger than ourselves.

Yeah. Wow. Wow. Great question. Yes, you will survive at times.

You might feel like you're not surviving and just remember that it's a season and it too shall pass. And I think the other thing is you never, you're never not a mom. I mean, my adult children have said, yeah, but I need my mom, even though they're adult children.  And then I think that you have your biological children, but then you also have the chosen children.

So I'm known in this ecosystem as a startup mama. And I think it's because a lot of these young millennials and startup founders that are coming here to Austin, they, they need a mom. They need someone that they can call or just it sees them and is cheering them on. I think that's the biggest role for moms is that you're involved in your kiddos lives and you're cheering them on and you want the best for them.

 

One of the mantras that we had and I, and this came later in the teen years was that our ceiling is their floor only as much as we're investing in ourselves and growing our children have higher grounds to  stand on.

 

I love that. I really love that. And so I'm wondering more about your motherhood journey.

 

So early on, just to give us perspective, because right now a lot of moms are having to make that tough choice between full on entrepreneurship. Let's get some funding. Let's just try to outsource a lot of motherhood so that this way we can like be that at the helm of business. Right. And for some of us, like myself, it's kind of like, well, that's scary.

 

Like I have these three little boys and I kind of like them and I want to really help shape their, their perspective on a lot of things. I want to be there. I want to be their people leader, you know? And so I'm curious, like when you first became a mom, like what were the decisions that you had to make and looking back, like, how do you feel about them?

 

Another great question. I was a mom. It seems like so long ago And it was a long time ago because just for perspective my daughters I have three daughters and they're 35 33 and 22 and yes, there's a 10 year gap between the youngest and the middle one and Same marriage i've married going on 38 or 39 years.

 

I can't remember exactly which one but When we, when I was pregnant with my first child, I always intended to go back to work. We were living up in the D. C. area, and I mean, there was no way we could afford the home that we were in and stuff like that, unless both of us were working. And after having my daughter, I had maternity leave, and once that was over, and I had to go back into work,  I didn't anticipate having this strong emotional attachment to my daughter.

 

I mean, to the point where I'm like, I can't leave her. I don't want to leave her. And my husband and I made a decision that I would stay at home. And, and I really, I mean, like, I was really scared to be a mom. I, I had, I mean, I, I have a good relationship with my mom today, but my mom. Did the best that she could with the knowledge that she had just like I think all moms need to give themselves that grace and you're doing the best that you can with the knowledge that you have at that time, because me as a mom with my older daughters and my youngest completely different.

 

I was more relaxed with the youngest. But when Karen was was born, I stayed at home and I loved it. And, and then Courtney came along and we moved like two weeks after she was born from Virginia to Austin. Now, something nobody ever told me about, there are high stressors in women's lives and you need to be careful in how many stressors are going off at one time.

 

And so we were moving, I was leaving this amazing chosen family, like that brought meals over, they cleaned my house, they helped me because I was on bed rest with my Second child and and she came, she was like four weeks premature and so then we take off. We leave Virginia. We drive, we drive to Texas and we're in a house.

 

My husband goes to work. I'm left alone. And I kind of  had what I thought was a breakdown. But like looking back, it was postpartum depression. And uh, Yeah, and I didn't have the support so like moving to a new place and not having support that so that just goes to show you the value and the importance of having that community.

 

I mean, we all need it from very early on from our family of origin into all these different seasons of life.

 

Yeah, and I think it's, it's interesting because I think it's something that before I hit record, we were talking about, which is this whole idea of relational poverty. I had never heard of that.

 

And I know that you do a great job in the Fiesta community in terms of making sure that people know one another. We actually like get to see one another, have like mini little groups together, the breakout sessions. And I appreciate that. And so I'm just wondering, okay. Just to kind of like walk listeners through this.

 

So you started out, you had a chosen family, you had like what I'm envisioning, like this ideal scenario where somebody brought you food. Like, that's like amazing. And then now you're like driving all the way to Texas. You don't know anyone, but you have two children at the time. And then you land there, your husband goes to work.

 

And then you're like, Oh my goodness. Like that, that to me does sound a little bit like relational poverty. Is that kind of like in reference to the similar thing? Well, I mean,

 

relational poverty, as I defined it, it's a deep lack of connectedness with others. So I didn't have the connectedness. I, we knew nobody here in Austin.

 

John was, took a job with IBM. So he knew the people he was working with. And we need that deep connectedness with other individuals. Like, just to give you a contrast, I knew nobody at first, like for the first month, we were staying in a hotel room with two little ones.  And then compared to Virginia, when we were up there, like I said, we, I met together with this group of women and couples and, and we were involved in a church up there at the time.

 

And so like, it was, it wasn't just going to church. It was like, we had this really intentional community with several of the guys that my husband was working with in, in there. Wives and I was always really nervous about being a mom because my parents divorced early on and my mom  Had an aneurysm when I was like eighth grade and I had always wanted to be close I'm I'm I'm I'm a loyalist and eight on the in a six on the enneagram and I just wanted that close nurturing relationship But I remember when she had the aneurysm and she was in the hospital, she kind of drew me close to her.

 

And she said, this is why I never got close to you and your sister. And I was thinking, like thinking about that. I just think, gosh, that's so sad because we missed out on, on, on this fear of, of what could happen versus being in the moment. And Making the most of that moment and so I think that was like a real pivotal time in my life because I never felt that connectedness with my mom early on and and so I wanted to provide that for my kiddos.

 

I wanted them to know as a as a family. We had a Oh, I I'm trying to think of, but it's, it's like a  thing that we put, these are our models as a family, we will be connected no matter how big or, or far apart we are from each other. And, and, and that is just that intentional intentionality  of reaching out, letting them know that, that we're thinking about them.

 

And we we've done that. I mean, we started the, the Koya company together, which was all about it. Helping to end relational poverty. And this is before COVID, COVID accelerated and, and, and, and really brought that to light, like the importance and what loneliness does to individuals. So if anything good came out of COVID, I think that that's one thing that it's okay to talk about mental health and the need not to isolate and be around other individuals, because it's important.

 

And we're made that way.

 

Yeah. I, I, I mean, it's evolutionary, right? So it's like, if you're not in a group, then you are at risk for, for death. So that's, that's a lot of times why people have this like massive fear of abandonment, because it's like you that if you don't have your clan, or you're not in a clan, it's kind of like, wow, there's, there's a lot that you have to do to fend for yourself.

 

And so it's, it's interesting in the sense that when I think about a mom who has to make, you know, A similar choice now, right? And we're in a different era, but  kind of feels familiar in the sense that society is set up in a certain way, granted now internet speeds are fast and everything. But at the same time, you mentioned that whole deep, deep, deep connection.

 

And I can't really say that when I'm on a Zoom call, I feel like this, like, deep connection. Like, it's like, you, you might meet the person, but on the surface, kind of get to know them, facts and figures, things like that. But there, there is that beauty of like in person events, which I know that you definitely create that atmosphere.

 

And, and when you were a mom early on in Austin, you still figured out a way to build that sense of community and in person deep connection. And I think it's, it's a good use of your imagination. You have a fertile imagination, which is the name of my book. So why don't you share? With listeners, kind of like how that idea of like connecting with other moms or homeschooling came about and what did you learn about that that maybe you use in Fiesta?

 

Yeah, so I, I, I'm like, it's so funny, the things that I've done in life, I, I, I, I would say I'm the least likely person  to have done that. So when my daughters, we moved from Austin to California. And when we moved to California, my husband took a job and he was traveling a lot. And because of his travel schedule and, and, and also my experience in, in being in school, like, I can remember not really liking school, especially elementary school and being very, I, I was diagnosed with ADD,  but that's a long time ago.

 

And, but people who have ADD, what I realized is that we're super creative, think outside the box kind of folks. And, and one of the, the, the problems with the educational system is that it makes you, it puts you in this box that kind of follows you along and have a hard time seeing yourself outside of that.

 

It wasn't until I got to college that I could see myself differently. And anyway, while I was in California. My, my daughter's Karen and Courtney, they're so opposite. I mean, Karen came out and I mean, laughing and just bubbly and, and Courtney is more introspective. And at the time was  more sensitive. I mean, I can remember if you raised your voice and I I'm, I'm expressive.

 

So I raised my voice. I it's not yelling, but she would cry. And I thought to myself, and I have no idea why, but I'm like, man, I feel like if she goes to school, who she's created to be is going to be warped. And, and I, I'm like, kids are going to like tear her to pieces if she cries on the playground for everything.

 

And, and so I started looking into homeschooling and I went to a meeting and when I walked in, unlike here in Texas at the time, the people who homeschooled that I knew, I mean, like, They made their own bread and they wore jumpers and I'm like, I will never homeschool. That's what I remember vividly saying.

 

I would never homeschool. And, and, and so, but in California. It looked a lot different and, and, and I, because I, nobody was wearing the jumpers and I went to this event and they brought out this big boa constrictor cause it was like a kids zoo day and the kids were all sitting around and families and stuff like that.

 

And I just thought, wow, that looks, this looks really cool. And so that I started looking more into it and reading about it. And then I came across. A gal named Sally Clarkson, who for moms, I mean, but it's from a, a Christian perspective, her books were, she was my mentor from afar. So people, moms are like, If, if you can't have a in person mentor, books can be your mentor's podcast.

 

She has an incredible podcast. I mean, she used to do conferences and then I got really involved in that. And I was on, on their board for about 10 years and they were out of Colorado and they would do these conferences in Dallas and Colorado and all over. And.  So that's, that was my mentorship into it.

 

And when I came back to Austin, I'm like, I don't want to be like that as, as a homeschool. I want, I want homeschooling to look exciting and have a way to bring not just the moms together, but couples together and the kids together, like for a PE co op and like a library day. And so I created the wholehearted.

 

Austin wholehearted homeschoolers, and we had probably 75 families that were part of it over the course of seven years, and it wasn't until 2001 that I stepped away, which is when I was pregnant with my youngest, and the reason being is because I again had some preterm labor type of issues, and, um. And I, I mean, I enjoyed it because it was a way everybody talked about socialization while we were socializing.

 

I mean, we were like my daughter, Karen, probably wouldn't be the photographer she is, but at the age of 14, we gave her a camera for her birthday and at 15, she and I went to Dallas and she took this. Week long photography course, did her first wedding at 15 and, and, and started her career that way. I think with the kids, they were able to experience life based off of what they were really interested in.

 

And to this day, I don't know if my daughters would have traveled as much as they traveled, had they not had that experience.  So yes, that's how homeschooling came about. I, I, and Kaylee, when she came in, it came time for schooling her. We put her in a private school for like two or three years and she was struggling.

 

And then I homeschooled her and she continued to struggle. And then we had her tested and we realized that she had something called dyscalculia, which is like dyslexic, but for math. And had she been in a school setting, that would have never been diagnosed, number one, probably, and number two, I, at that point, didn't make math a big issue, because it's like, okay, she's not going to be a mathematician, we're going to figure this out, and I remember going to a counselor and them saying, well, she might not ever go to college, you know, and I'm like, The labels we put on kids and the things that we say about kids really impact them.

 

And that's one of the problems, like with the school system I had was I saw these kids that were in reading groups and this is the, the advanced reading group. This was the normal reading group, but these were the kids that were behind and that would follow them in elementary school from grade to grade.

 

So that's why I like the idea of. Just bringing people of all ages, I think together, the one, the one room schoolhouse to me is very appealing.  So,

 

yeah, my, my twins actually had like a one room schoolhouse, but it was Montessori, right? So different years and then there was like a leader and then like they got to choose their own work and practical life was part of it.

 

So like, I totally understand like the whole, like some of the nuances. And I know people who ironically are actually. Teachers in the school system who homeschool their kids. It's like, okay, wait a minute. Hmm. Why is that? You wonder. I have to share something with you. A lot of moms that I've partnered with, mom founders, have told me that following up after going to networking events tends to be hard,  awkward, and a lot of them really don't know how to do it.

 

And that's why I decided to write a playbook that is absolutely free for you to download. If you've ever felt awkward or like networking has been transactional or following up has been impossible to kind of do consistently, it's called From Contact to Connection. It's the Mompreneur's Go First Networking and Follow Up Playbook.

 

I wanted to just share why is it go first? It's go first because I've heard from moms that hey, I actually do like networking as long as other people approach me. And my whole thing is that it is important for you to create your own opportunities and I want to empower you to do so. So my gift to you as a listener of this podcast is my playbook.

 

You will have an opportunity to download my personal step by step networking and follow up process, as well as out of the box proven ways to build relationships with the busiest of  influencers. with perspective podcast guests and mentors too. And you don't have to just be a podcaster to get the benefits.

 

You have to be a mom founder though, to really see the results by way of your income, by implementing my strategies. Now, I do want to say that I also offered a bonus 30 second elevator pitch template. I share with you my pitch. I give you a Mad Libs style Template that you can fill in the blanks and my intention is really to be sure that you have a starter kit to help you go out there and network, whether you're doing it now or come this fall.

 

Now, this playbook really, really packs a punch of value. It's going to help you improve your networking skills. Even if you're a mom founder, and maybe you're in the season where you can't go out there and schmooze with people at happy hours, maybe you're the type of person that is going to have to figure out how to get people to Zoom with you one on one.

 

And I've got you covered in this playbook. In this playbook, I'm going to help you become a better networker. So this way you don't feel like a fish out of the water. So you'll see some templates and ways that I have approached pretty big name people. And you'll want to use my language and edit it to your tone so that this way people have a good idea for who you are and you could feel more authentic about your emails out.

 

In the playbook, you're going to have an opportunity to really push beyond the fear that often holds you back. For example, Oh, I can't do that, or who am I to approach that person? No, I will be encouraging you. I will be that person in your little pocket telling you, go for it, in this playbook. You'll also have an opportunity to think more strategically about your outreach goals.

 

So let's just imagine this September, you want to reach out to prospective investors. I give you some questions to really think through of who exactly you would want to connect with. So there's a lot that happens in this playbook. Again, the elevator pitch is also part of it. I would encourage you to head on over to the show notes today, and you will see a direct link for the playbook.

 

Or you could simply type into, um, any browser, fertileideas. com. So head on over to fertileideas. com for your copy of this playbook. It's specific for mom founders. You're also going to have an opportunity in the playbook to calm your networking jitters because I'm going to share with you how I research before reaching out to people.

 

And that has made all the difference for me and my clients. You will also have a good sense of a good timeframe to actually do these follow up activities. A lot of times we tend to feel like we're being annoying or we're being persistent, but honestly, there's a right and wrong way of doing it. So I want to share with you what's worked for me in my playbook.

 

So head on over to fertile ideas. com. I so appreciate that you're listening to this conversation and enjoy the rest of the episode.

 

I, I think the thing I've learned is, is I really, I think it really depends on, on you and why you're doing what you're doing. So, as I said early, it was a way for us to be together with my husband when he was home and then when he was traveling and then I really, school became fun for me.

 

So like, as I prepared and learned things. I was excited about it. The kids really grasped it. They understood it better. But if I didn't like it, they didn't like it for the most part. So teacher really does impact the love that I, I think the most important task is to teach a child to learn, and they will always learn.

 

As young adults, even now me doing what I do, it involves so much computer stuff that Technology. I didn't have those skills. I've had to kind of teach it my learn it myself and go on and look at videos and stuff. So

 

Yeah. Yeah. And I think a lot of what you're sharing is the fact that. There's, there's like these like misunderstandings about connection and community.

 

And I think one misunderstanding, and for me, it's something that I'm getting from this conversation. And it's this, it's like somebody else doesn't have to actually create that community for you. Like, you actually can take ownership. Of creating your own community and in a situation like you just shared, like homeschooling, like I've heard, like, oh, the kids are going to not be socialized and it's so lonely and blah, blah, blah.

 

But what I heard you say is that even in that situation. When other people specifically were like, Oh, socialization there, there goes that like you still manage to use your imagination to create community and like get the deep connections that you were looking for. And you moved again. Like I didn't, I didn't not notice that I'm like, wow.

 

Okay. So I think it's, it's interesting because something that I know a lot of moms. Struggle with now is this lack of making mom friends. Like, I know it's a little bit off topic, but it's still like connection and deep, real conversation. Like, so you moved from Virginia to Texas, to California, or something like that.

 

Virginia,

 

Texas, Texas, California. And then like two and a half years later came back to Texas. And so like, okay. So that in

 

my opinion, I'm like, okay. So. Sheree, what is the key to establishing and keeping great mom friends, especially if you're moving around? Yeah,

 

you know, I, I think there's season. So everywhere I've gone, I've had friendships and, and I mean, I still keep in touch with him.

 

I tend to be the one that picks up the phone and calls. I think that life. So here's the deal. When I was raising Karen and Courtney, we. There were clear boundaries like in there was those in between moments to be with others and you would drive 30 minutes or whatever to be with a friend like we what was really interesting about our homeschool group was they were from all over Austin and and I had people driving 45 minutes in for events.

 

I think once technology became more widely used and stuff like that, people  like you didn't meet in homes anymore. You met out at restaurants and you were, you never had those boundaries because you had a phone ringing or pinging you or, or, and things like that. And, and those are all distractions. I think two relationships, deep relationships, because time.

 

Is, is the one commodity that we can't get back. And, and there's so many things competing for our attention. And I know for myself. You have to be super intentional, like how and who are you gonna spend time with? And, and again, right now I'm in a season of life that is really different than most people because we just moved my in law, my husband's an only child, from New Orleans, where they flipped all of their life, 50 years, in the same four bedroom house to a one bedroom apartment, and they're going to be who we invest and spend more time with right now because it's, that's a season of life that we're in.

 

And, and I have my other obligations. So I think it's better to go deep with one or two people who really get you and understand and put it on the calendar, like that intentionality and say, okay, this is what I want from the relationship, kind of defining it. And I, I, I, I just, there's. Life is so complex, right?

 

We all need counselors someone to talk to because like when that becomes the focus of a friendship and it's one sided the other person will eventually like I And I, I need something else because it's about giving and receiving. And, and so it's like, make sure that you're comfortable with who you are and that you have something to give to somebody.

 

And the saying that says, you know why I like you? Because you like me. And then you want to spend that time together. So, I mean,  yeah, it's, I mean, You tend to want to find friends that are close by because the idea of having to drive, especially when you have two, three kids is, is hard. I think finding mentors in your life as you're going through these different seasons.

 

And my husband and I always said, you know, look for the next season of life for you. So if, if you're newly married and know you want to have kids, finding a couple that has kids that you can hang out with and watch them, because that. Hugely impacted my desire to want to have kids for the, for the longest.

 

I didn't think I wanted kids or children. And then I was around this one couple and I watched them interact with their kiddos. And I'm like, Oh my gosh, is that what parenting looks like? I mean, I just, I, I was mesmerized by how they interacted with their three boys. And it just was like, Wow. Okay. I can do that.

 

I want to do that.

 

So  that's amazing. I think, I mean, it's, it's important to just kind of have a good sense of what's, what's possible. What's something that maybe you never considered was within your cards and, and might actually bring you joy and happiness, right? You can't tell if you're not in the room and kind of experiencing that laughter, you know, yeah.

 

It's inviting for sure. So let's imagine that not from a spaceship, although that was the thought that came in my mind, but let's imagine there's like this mom, brand new mom, she just got here to Austin this year and she has a business idea. And she's just like, okay, I'm here. I heard this is where technology is buzzing.

 

And there's all these like startups and app people. What should she do first so that she starts to kind of get to know what's available to her in terms of support and resources in Austin?  Wow.

 

Well, so part of why I started Fiesta was to make things more easily accessible. I really feel like communities.

 

I don't know if you've traveled abroad, but I've gone to Germany. And one of the things I love is that you have these town centers and everything centers around this town center. You have your baker, the. Everything and into one another. And so.  I mean, Austin is big and trying to find those resources online is, is, is important.

 

It depends on what type of, I mean, what she's trying to build. Is she wanting to focus more on work type of relationships? Then I would say finding time to network will be important. And, you know, I've created a calendar to help folks find events easy. And there's, there's mom groups, there's co ed groups.

 

There's so much here in Austin. I mean, I literally, you can be busy almost every night of the week doing stuff. If you're, I mean, finding groups that maybe you're based off of, of cultural interest, I think that's also helpful. And. Meet up event. Right. You can Google it these days. It's so easily accessible.

 

And then the places that you hang out because I do think that spending time in the car with kiddos that are screaming and not happy that just kind of grates on you as a mom. And it's like, by the time you get there, you're just like,  Where, where you're going and it's not so like finding that happy in between place where you don't have to spend hours or in the car because of the crazy traffic here.

 

And I think that's the case in other places. It's nice. One of the nice things about COVID is that. We're more aware of how to use virtual stuff. So I think using that, if you have a friend from another place, keeping that relationship going, because you get each other in and putting it on the calendar, again, intentionality, you have to be intentional, put it on the calendar because if it's not on the calendars, Likely not to happen, but if you put it on the calendar and something comes up, you can always change it.

 

So that's why I, I say put it on the calendar  and yeah, so, and have a support. I mean, like, I think this is a conversation before having kiddos that couples need to have is, is knowing what. Your desires are because I think some women really are created to be career women. They, they, they've always wanted to be an attorney.

 

I, I think of this one gal that works over at Perkin and Cooey and she just got a nu some kind of a, a award for what she does. But she just had her fifth child of Alaska. She was at the event we were at on Wednesday night and.  She has worked as an attorney all of this time and, and, and her baby is probably two months old.

 

And I mean, she just flew in and, and, but again, that's a conversation I'm sure she and her husband had that this is what I want to do. This is why I went to school. I want you to. Will you support me in this? And, and what will that look like? So for couples, it could be the husband picking up a lot more of the load, or it could be that you hire folks to come in to help with the childcare and then when they're old enough, I mean, you do childcare.

 

So those are all decisions I think to make ahead of time as a couple, you know, before you get there.  Would help. And then if you have family close by, can they help out? I think I love the conversations we were having on Wednesday that as women are involved in companies in advocating for child care on premise with them, that's things are going to start to change and they are changing.

 

I mean, it's a lot different than when I Was having kiddos. So, I mean, I think it's only going to get better. And I jokingly say, I think the Barbie movie has done a lot for, for, for that too, like the, the whole stereotyping that, you know, you can work, but can you work and have a family? And I think you can, it's just a discussion that needs to be had.

 

Yeah, Cherie, thank you for this. I think this is important. A lot of, a lot of moms are, and I, and I find it slightly hilarious, if I'm being honest. It's kind of like, I don't know, I kind of feel like women have always been having babies. Like, this is not new. Yeah.  It's like, Why are we still talking about the same thing?

 

Right. But I mean, there's, there's a lot of things that are involved and a lot of different priorities that have to be decided upon ideally by the woman herself. And then there's also choices. And, and I just want to caveat, like if you're high powered in your field and you have those hours, I think every mom needs to just be really, really honest with herself and understand that.

 

There's some, there's a support system behind that sister, like, like there's no way on this earth that you could like duplicate yourself yet until AI really gets advanced, but, but I think there's, there's options, there's also options in, in not having to feel lonely, whether you're a mom or an entrepreneur.

 

And I think as far as. Your experiences early on with like homeschooling, like you, you share the fact that you could use your imagination to really figure out what you need, everybody needs something a little different. Some people don't want to be smothered and some people want a lot of love. And some people want, you know, something with a little bit more.

 

I don't even know, like something that's a little more defined, for example, in terms of a relationship. So, Cherie, let's say that people want to continue to follow you, learn more about you, learn about Fiesta. Where should they go online? What website should we point them to and social media?

 

Yeah, so fiesta.

 

community. com, community. And is the website, if you are an entrepreneur, if you're looking for events and things of that sort, you can find me on Sri Werner on Instagram and Facebook. And it's Sri at Fiesta dot communities, my email, if you want to reach out to me and yeah, those are the big things. And I just want to encourage moms.

 

I mean, like, remember this is a season and  I think that being a mom. Actually best prepared me for what I'm doing today. I learned so much because there's that one image out there that shows if you paid a mom for everything that she does, cause she, she's a caregiver. She, do you know what I'm talking about?

 

Have you seen that? Okay. Good driver.

 

Everything. Exactly.

 

And, and we need to, I mean like we need to remind each other of the fact that we do a lot and we have a lot to offer. And, and instead of judging one another, if we're, this is where it goes back to emotional generosity that we were talking about earlier on.

 

Like, Pointing out something to a mom and, and encouraging her or a working woman, just saying, Hey, you bring so much to this arena. I'm so glad that you're choosing to work and offering, like, is there anything I can do to help you? Or do you need anything? And, and just being that person to, to ask. And then I think as women, it's okay to vocalize it's hard.

 

I'm struggling. I, I, I'm not doing a good job. I need help. I mean, like, learn those words and, and use them because that only way that other people can be let in is if you let them in. So to all the moms out there, if, if you need somebody, reach out, let them know. And, and I, I, I mean, we're such a supportive community.

 

I know.  You will find somebody that will step up to be there for you.

 

Absolutely. Thank you, Cherie. Yeah, thank you. When it comes to some of the first people that I met here in Austin after our time in Australia, Cherie was one of those individuals who had and offered a very warm smile. So here are the three things that I want to share with you as it relates to finding community wherever you are and not feeling so lonely as a mom, nor as an entrepreneur.

 

So this is what I got from the conversation with Cherie. So the first point is you have to be intentional, be intentional about creating connections, understand what you need from those relationships. But be intentional, put it on your calendar or it won't happen. The second one is go for deep connections.

 

And if you are just zooming with individuals, then that is going to be pretty surface level unless you've been in the same room and shared a cup of coffee, for example, which is something that here in Austin, we do a lot. And that's actually a little new for me as a New Yorker. So deep relationships really make a difference.

 

They're awesome and helpful for your mental health. And then the third point is the one that I love about. Finding friends or people to connect with who are ahead of you along your mom stage or motherhood journey. I think having a perspective of what it looks like to be the parent of a teenager or having the perspective of what it looks like, or it can look like to be an empty nester when you're a mom like me with kids in school is a good thing to seek.

 

So those are the three things that I think are really important as it relates to the conversation with Sheree. And I really invite you to connect with Sheree, go to a Fiesta event. If you're here based in Austin, say hello. Cause I will probably be there too and have a wonderful, wonderful day. Again, you're not alone.

You're totally not alone. If anything, you have me here on the other side of this microphone. So definitely reach out to me, [email protected] And I will say hi back. Pinky promise.