190: One Decision Can Change Your Life + A Free 10-Minute Meditation For Better Decision-Making For Moms

One decision can change your life entirely. Melissa shares an anecdote from her book, Fertile Imagination, about her mom's one turning point decision moment back in the 60s. Melissa leads a 10-minute meditation to help you build a greater awareness of your body sensations. Melissa talks about the decision to raise bilingual third generation Latinos.

Excerpt from Melissa's book: Fertile Imagination: A Guide for Every Mom's Superpower for Creating Maximum Impact - https://www.melissallarena.com/waitlist/

The wrong script for you can hold you back. My Puerto Rican grandmother, who finished school after the third grade, got impatient with my mom back in the ’60s. One of three girls, my mom attended a community college to earn her associate’s degree. No other daughter went that far. My grandmother once told my mom, that’s enough school! She saw school as a waste of time for a girl. Decades later, my mom enrolled in college because she really wanted to earn a bachelor’s. The problem was that my mom was working full-time, I was born, and she had to complete all of her domestic duties for my father. No adjustments would be made to her script because my mom was carrying a full load of classes. My mom’s anxiety levels, due to her duties of being the primary caregiver as a wife and mom on top of her studies, led her to quit. Imagine if my mom, before she met my dad or had me, could have called BS on her own mother? Lashing out at your mom in a Puerto Rican household in my mom’s experience could result in a black eye so bottling up disappointments was often a better option. The baby step to changing a script that doesn’t feel true to you is in asking yourself the question: Is that behavior or expectation right for ME?

Melissa's story about raising bilingual third generation Latinos:

For me, I was told by my mom that my kids should be spoken to in Spanish. So that is one generation of moms telling me another generation of moms. Meanwhile, my grandmother would only talk to me in Spanish. Let's be clear. She understood every single word in English. And I knew that she could understand what I was saying, but it was like she'd be unresponsive if I opened my mouth and said anything in English. So this idea that you have to know Spanish was ingrained in me and frankly it's been a struggle. And it's this decision that I have had to really think to myself, okay, like, am I doing this for myself or am I doing this for my mom or am I doing this for my grandmother, right? These decisions are the ones that can change the trajectory of my kids' lives.  My advise is to check-in that its a fight for going into because YOU would want the outcome. Check-in as I mention in my book that it's not just a "mom script" that's been handled down to you. Or a glass-cultural ceiling you were meant to shatter?

*Update: the 21-day challenge will now be the 5-day challenge to ensure you complete the experience along with your school-age child.

Get on the list while it's free: https://www.melissallarena.com/fertileideas

The meditation:

Close your eyes and take a deep breath in through your nose. As you exhale, let go of any tension you're holding in your body.

Now, bring your awareness to your feet. Notice the sensations you feel in your feet. Are they warm or cold? Do they feel heavy or light?

Slowly bring your awareness up your legs, to your knees, your thighs, your hips. Notice the sensations you feel in these areas.

Continue to bring your awareness up your body, to your torso, your chest, your shoulders, your neck, and your head. Notice the sensations you feel in these areas.

Now, bring your awareness to your breath. Notice the rise and fall of your chest as you breathe in and out.

Continue to breathe deeply and slowly, paying attention to the sensations in your body and your breath.

When you're ready, open your eyes and bring your awareness back to the room.

Takeaway:

The decisions you make can have a big impact on your life. It's important to be aware of your body sensations and what they're telling you. You can use meditation to build a greater awareness of your body sensations. Raising bilingual children is a decision that should be made for the right reasons.