182: The Risks And Consequences Of Taking On A Supporting Role In Your Mom Life

This is episode 182. What if playing a supporting role in your own life is the single biggest mistake you can make as a mom? What if you will only be happy, fulfilled, and feel like the best mom possible if you took a chance on your own ambitions? What if taking a chance means that you will have to find a way to start playing the lead role in your life? What if your mental health and emotional well-being rely on making this mindset shift?? Let's talk about a very common change in perspective among moms. We begin by playing the lead in our lives to then becoming a mom and feeling like we can now only play a supporting role. Ever feel like your life had to stop when every else's gets to keep going or soaring? This was the memo I got when I joined the mom club twelve years ago. It’s also why I decided to write my book….Fertile Imagination: A Guide for Stretching Every Mom's Superpower for Maximum Impact - get your free chapter: www.melissallarena.com/waitlist   Big ideas discussed in this episode   Insight: you go from playing the lead in your life to playing a supporting role   Personal - You dreamt about where you’d travel, live, and work someday to no longer dreaming Clients - You imagined making a difference in your field but you are not using your hard-earned degree Mom friends - You were a marketing rock star yet it’s been years since you had a glamorous job   Consequences of this insight   You put a lot of pressure on your kids to perform because they reflect you   You make painful sacrifices and never stop because you are emotionally invested in your kids to their detriment (at times)   Nothing to pull you / medications/weight gain – You are not feeling inspired or motivated nor pulled to run after a big dream at all….there’s a life energy that’s been sucked out of you   Ramifications of ignoring this idea and why people ignore it   Moms are lonely – they might be surrounded by kid(s) but they are not engaging in rich conversations with moms who will be honest about their thoughts on motherhood   Moms are depressed because sometimes other moms shame them into thinking they should be appreciative   Moms are less valuable than billionaires…why do we have lists of the world’s billionaires out there put on a pedestal but barely know our mom neighbors? Easy to count? You can count the number of kids a mom has. You can see the moms who produced the most high school graduates. I think we can find a way to quantify this too IF we used our fertile imagination.   The truth of what I’ve immersed myself in over the last twelve years to inspire ME has mostly come from "unmoms" or those without kids or who are not moms   My mentors have been men who have had supportive wives who are caring for the children. This is not to say there are no examples however I’m not drawn to them because I was taught to listen when a man spoke. Men are our leaders. Men know the way. They know how to overcome challenges. All of this comes from the cultural ceilings I was taught as a Latina even as one raised by Latinos born in NY. Side note: this is covered in my book too. What’s not being said is how their wives/girlfriends/partners feel about their own life accomplishments. The other thing I've never heard was how did other moms with big dreams get them while they were in the thick of it? I was told to wait until kindergarten but screw that I can't just put a plug into my ambition. These guys below didn't have to...   Tim Ferriss Tom Bilyeu Rich Roll Tony Robbins Rich Roll Jesse Itzler GaryVee James Altucher Other resources I've devoured over the last decade include:   Business books and case studies Coaching courses focused on mindset Meditation courses   And what I realized was missing from those conversations  

Kids or being the primary caregiver of kids

Thoughts on what it's like to feel misunderstood as a mom with big dreams

The handling of our "mom" unique mental bandwidth-emotional burdens Interruptions and what it takes to not have the stop you Life seasons Default parenting Mom scripts   All of these things were missing. I had to figure this out on my own during my twelve-year entrepreneurial/motherhood journey and now because of this book, you can skip some steps.   My bigger ambition today is also that I want this podcast and my services to serve entrepreneurial moms by including   Inspiration, ideas, and a sense of playfulness   A modular approach to feeling accomplished (because as moms there are seasons)   The future as I wish to see it   Mom goes to dance class with daughter Mom has a teen document her day with a drone   What this future requires out of you and moms as a collective are:   Seeing yourself as worthy of understanding your capabilities Learning how to use this gift of a fertile imagination and constantly seek ways to sharpen this tool Using the reality of a situation to your advantage Unleashing the potential moms have when we use our superpower for ourselves Exposing your kids to your life's ups and downs when pursuing big dreams to really pass along resiliency to them Engaging in new spheres personal and professional so your kids witness how you approach new situations and find your tribe Encouraging your kids to own their worth by doing the same for yourself either by building a business or side hustle that makes an impact If this future sounds like one you want to endorse, learn more about, or help me pull off then here’s how: go to www.melissallarena.com/waitlist I want to invite you to come along with me on my journey to getting this book out to every mom.

SHARE this episode with a mom founder, entrepreneur, or creator, who is a mom who wants to learn how to use their superpower of a fertile imagination to go back to playing the lead role in their lives and teach their kids to do the same too

Subscribe and Review

Have you subscribed to my podcast for new moms who are entrepreneurs, founders, and creators?  I’d love for you to subscribe if you haven’t yet. I’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast for writer moms.

DOWNLOAD FIVE JOURNAL PROMPTS + A WACKY TRUE STORY FROM MY UPCOMING BOOK: Fertile Imagination: A Guide To Stretch A Mom's Superpower For Maximum Impact

https://www.melissallarena.com/waitlist/

“Melissa is an inspiring display of tenacity and motivation. Whenever you’re feeling stuck, peruse Melissa’s thoughtfully compiled tips and exercises and you’ll be creating magic in no time.” – Suzy Batiz, Chief Executive and Visionary Officer, ~Pourri, The Makers of Poo~Pourri, supernatural, Alive OS®

WHAT YOU GET:

In this chapter, you will SEE what bringing a sense of curiosity, playfulness, and a willingness to dream for yourself can do for both you and your family. You'll also have the opportunity to answer five key questions that will help you unlock ways you can rewrite your "mom scripts" so that you can cultivate a sense of playfulness every single day!

REVIEWS:

For moms like me, the pandemic was an opportunity to re-evaluate and course-correct things in our lives we weren’t thrilled with. Coming out of this period, sluggish yet motivated, so many of us can use this book to help us wake up! If you’re looking to refresh, reenergize, and yes, reimagine a better version of your life, this book is for you. I loved the hilarious, yet poignant stories about motherhood today and the window into the world of those who’ve gone for it – and did it. - Macollvie Neel, Brooklyn, NY

This chapter is about getting in touch with your creative, playful, imaginative side. The part of yourself that perhaps felt freer before you became a parent, before you chose your identity and had a lot of responsibilities weighing you down. In helping you get in touch with your more playful, creative self, it not only helps you on a path toward greater happiness and fulfillment, but it also helps you to feel more fulfilled as a parent. – Mom/PR

The words: imagination, play and fun are not the usual things we as mothers think of when wondering how to get a grip back on our career and I believe it provides a really fresh take and lots of food for thought for mothers reading it. I think that the tone is so energetic and fresh that it is why I would pick it up. – Latina Mom/Positive Psychology Coach

Melissa is a mom of three with big dreams who tells it like it is. She draws on her own experiences and the experiences of professionals she’s interviewed for her podcast to reflect on the plight of the mother. How do women conform to or challenge the traditional “mom script”? If you’re a mom, what can you do to break the “cultural glass ceiling” to be yourself and a great parent, all without having to force yourself into a mom mold that doesn’t fit you? Melissa is like a great friend, honest and wise and funny, telling you about her life and asking you to reflect on yours. This book is a great purchase for moms in every stage of life. – Aspiring Novelist, Librarian, Mom To Two Kiddos

In her book, Melissa shows us that motherhood does not have to be a pause or an end of your pre-child self. With guidance from her podcast guests, she encourages us to think big, find what lights us up, think big, and move towards our goals with the steps that fit the reality of our lives as they are today. In doing so we honor and inspire our child(ren), and our own inner child. – Single Mom To A 12-Year Old Boy

This is episode 182. What if playing a supporting role in your own life is the single biggest mistake you can make as a mom? What if you will only be happy, fulfilled, and feel like the best mom possible if you took a chance on your own ambitions? What if taking a chance means that you will have to find a way to start playing the lead role in your life? What if your mental health and emotional well-being rely on making this mindset shift?? Let's talk about a very common change in perspective among moms. We begin by playing the lead in our lives to then becoming a mom and feeling like we can now only play a supporting role. Ever feel like your life had to stop when every else's gets to keep going or soaring? This was the memo I got when I joined the mom club twelve years ago. It’s also why I decided to write my book….Fertile Imagination: A Guide for Stretching Every Mom's Superpower for Maximum Impact - get your free chapter: www.melissallarena.com/waitlist   Big ideas discussed in this episode   Insight: you go from playing the lead in your life to playing a supporting role   Personal - You dreamt about where you’d travel, live, and work someday to no longer dreaming Clients - You imagined making a difference in your field but you are not using your hard-earned degree Mom friends - You were a marketing rock star yet it’s been years since you had a glamorous job   Consequences of this insight   You put a lot of pressure on your kids to perform because they reflect you   You make painful sacrifices and never stop because you are emotionally invested in your kids to their detriment (at times)   Nothing to pull you / medications/weight gain – You are not feeling inspired or motivated nor pulled to run after a big dream at all….there’s a life energy that’s been sucked out of you   Ramifications of ignoring this idea and why people ignore it   Moms are lonely – they might be surrounded by kid(s) but they are not engaging in rich conversations with moms who will be honest about their thoughts on motherhood   Moms are depressed because sometimes other moms shame them into thinking they should be appreciative   Moms are less valuable than billionaires…why do we have lists of the world’s billionaires out there put on a pedestal but barely know our mom neighbors? Easy to count? You can count the number of kids a mom has. You can see the moms who produced the most high school graduates. I think we can find a way to quantify this too IF we used our fertile imagination.   The truth of what I’ve immersed myself in over the last twelve years to inspire ME has mostly come from "unmoms" or those without kids or who are not moms   My mentors have been men who have had supportive wives who are caring for the children. This is not to say there are no examples however I’m not drawn to them because I was taught to listen when a man spoke. Men are our leaders. Men know the way. They know how to overcome challenges. All of this comes from the cultural ceilings I was taught as a Latina even as one raised by Latinos born in NY. Side note: this is covered in my book too. What’s not being said is how their wives/girlfriends/partners feel about their own life accomplishments. The other thing I've never heard was how did other moms with big dreams get them while they were in the thick of it? I was told to wait until kindergarten but screw that I can't just put a plug into my ambition. These guys below didn't have to...   Tim Ferriss Tom Bilyeu Rich Roll Tony Robbins Rich Roll Jesse Itzler GaryVee James Altucher Other resources I've devoured over the last decade include:   Business books and case studies Coaching courses focused on mindset Meditation courses   And what I realized was missing from those conversations  

Kids or being the primary caregiver of kids

Thoughts on what it's like to feel misunderstood as a mom with big dreams

The handling of our "mom" unique mental bandwidth-emotional burdens Interruptions and what it takes to not have the stop you Life seasons Default parenting Mom scripts   All of these things were missing. I had to figure this out on my own during my twelve-year entrepreneurial/motherhood journey and now because of this book, you can skip some steps.   My bigger ambition today is also that I want this podcast and my services to serve entrepreneurial moms by including   Inspiration, ideas, and a sense of playfulness   A modular approach to feeling accomplished (because as moms there are seasons)   The future as I wish to see it   Mom goes to dance class with daughter Mom has a teen document her day with a drone   What this future requires out of you and moms as a collective are:   Seeing yourself as worthy of understanding your capabilities Learning how to use this gift of a fertile imagination and constantly seek ways to sharpen this tool Using the reality of a situation to your advantage Unleashing the potential moms have when we use our superpower for ourselves Exposing your kids to your life's ups and downs when pursuing big dreams to really pass along resiliency to them Engaging in new spheres personal and professional so your kids witness how you approach new situations and find your tribe Encouraging your kids to own their worth by doing the same for yourself either by building a business or side hustle that makes an impact If this future sounds like one you want to endorse, learn more about, or help me pull off then here’s how: go to www.melissallarena.com/waitlist I want to invite you to come along with me on my journey to getting this book out to every mom.

SHARE this episode with a mom founder, entrepreneur, or creator, who is a mom who wants to learn how to use their superpower of a fertile imagination to go back to playing the lead role in their lives and teach their kids to do the same too

Subscribe and Review

Have you subscribed to my podcast for new moms who are entrepreneurs, founders, and creators?  I’d love for you to subscribe if you haven’t yet. I’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast for writer moms.

DOWNLOAD FIVE JOURNAL PROMPTS + A WACKY TRUE STORY FROM MY UPCOMING BOOK: Fertile Imagination: A Guide To Stretch A Mom's Superpower For Maximum Impact

https://www.melissallarena.com/waitlist/

“Melissa is an inspiring display of tenacity and motivation. Whenever you’re feeling stuck, peruse Melissa’s thoughtfully compiled tips and exercises and you’ll be creating magic in no time.” – Suzy Batiz, Chief Executive and Visionary Officer, ~Pourri, The Makers of Poo~Pourri, supernatural, Alive OS®

WHAT YOU GET:

In this chapter, you will SEE what bringing a sense of curiosity, playfulness, and a willingness to dream for yourself can do for both you and your family. You'll also have the opportunity to answer five key questions that will help you unlock ways you can rewrite your "mom scripts" so that you can cultivate a sense of playfulness every single day!

REVIEWS:

For moms like me, the pandemic was an opportunity to re-evaluate and course-correct things in our lives we weren’t thrilled with. Coming out of this period, sluggish yet motivated, so many of us can use this book to help us wake up! If you’re looking to refresh, reenergize, and yes, reimagine a better version of your life, this book is for you. I loved the hilarious, yet poignant stories about motherhood today and the window into the world of those who’ve gone for it – and did it. - Macollvie Neel, Brooklyn, NY

This chapter is about getting in touch with your creative, playful, imaginative side. The part of yourself that perhaps felt freer before you became a parent, before you chose your identity and had a lot of responsibilities weighing you down. In helping you get in touch with your more playful, creative self, it not only helps you on a path toward greater happiness and fulfillment, but it also helps you to feel more fulfilled as a parent. – Mom/PR

The words: imagination, play and fun are not the usual things we as mothers think of when wondering how to get a grip back on our career and I believe it provides a really fresh take and lots of food for thought for mothers reading it. I think that the tone is so energetic and fresh that it is why I would pick it up. – Latina Mom/Positive Psychology Coach

Melissa is a mom of three with big dreams who tells it like it is. She draws on her own experiences and the experiences of professionals she’s interviewed for her podcast to reflect on the plight of the mother. How do women conform to or challenge the traditional “mom script”? If you’re a mom, what can you do to break the “cultural glass ceiling” to be yourself and a great parent, all without having to force yourself into a mom mold that doesn’t fit you? Melissa is like a great friend, honest and wise and funny, telling you about her life and asking you to reflect on yours. This book is a great purchase for moms in every stage of life. – Aspiring Novelist, Librarian, Mom To Two Kiddos

In her book, Melissa shows us that motherhood does not have to be a pause or an end of your pre-child self. With guidance from her podcast guests, she encourages us to think big, find what lights us up, think big, and move towards our goals with the steps that fit the reality of our lives as they are today. In doing so we honor and inspire our child(ren), and our own inner child. – Single Mom To A 12-Year Old Boy