Alphabetizing Your Life
14 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 3 years ago - ★★★★★ - 43 ratingsIf you like existing, then you’ll love Alphabetizing Your Life. Join hosts Scott Bednar and Joshua Hillman, two friends with infinite knowledge and minimal wisdom, as they explore, discuss and discover little-known facts about topics starting with each episode’s letter-of-the-day – while downing a bottle of wine… each.
This semi-thought-provoking, semi-informative, wholly-inappropriate series will have you learning all things you never knew you needed to know — from A to Z.
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Episodes
N: Nipples, Nuclear Threats, New Year's Resolutions…
March 01, 2021 21:41 - 45 minutes - 83.7 MBHarry Styles has four nipples (a.k.a. nollywobbles), you’ve been saying Nevada wrong your entire life and your mattress could be key to surviving doomsday. Joshua and Scott also navigate nuclear threats, New Year’s resolutions, navels, noses, nutmeg, narwhals and naming sound effects.
M: Monkey Jesus, Miracle Berries, Munchausen Syndrome…
November 30, 2020 00:57 - 42 minutes - 78.3 MBNon-consenting taste bud violation is a real thing, destroying a historical masterpiece could score you lucrative merchandising rights, and 41% of Americans — Joshua included — believe humans and dinosaurs “definitely or probably” coexisted on Earth. Scott and Joshua also mull over the Mars Science Laboratory, monkey Jesus, myths & misconceptions, marriage, Michelin, Munchausen syndrome, meow, miracle berries and Minnesota.
L: Last Meals, Lower Case Letters, Lysol…
April 28, 2020 12:36 - 43 minutes - 81.6 MBYour grandmother used to pump poison into her lady bits, left-handed people are oft vilified (and we’re no exception) and you should probably be washing your legs more than you think… maybe. The loquacious duo also lament over lower-case letters, lullabies, Lysol, laugh tracks and last meals.
K: Killer Bees, KFC, Kitty Litter…
November 09, 2019 23:21 - 51 minutes - 96 MBKoalas will throw your ass out of a tree if you reject their advances, China’s taking all of our chicken and killer bees really dislike evening wear and nice jewelry. Scott and Joshua also kvetch about kitty litter, KFC, kosher, knock on wood, kiwis and words that start with “kn.”
J: Jaywalking, Jalapeños, Judge Judy...
July 19, 2019 15:35 - 43 minutes - 80.7 MBReplace your morning OJ with a handful of jalapeños, get your affairs in order because there’s a high probability you’ll shit the bed on January 1st and all hail Judge Judy, mistress of justice and money. Scott and Joshua also jabber on about Jäegermeister, jobs, jokes, jaywalking and other pleasant words that start with the letter J.
I: International Space Station, Ice Pick Lobotomy, Immaculate Conception...
March 19, 2019 13:53 - 42 minutes - 79.7 MBOur early astronauts dealt with a lot of crap — literally, a majority of Iceland doesn’t not believe in mystical elves living in their rocks and boulders and if you were crazy in 1950 someone might shove an ice pick into your eye socket. Joshua and Scott also investigate Immaculate Conception, the index finger, Instagram and the toughest race on Earth, the Iditarod.
H: Honeybees, Hamsters, Helium…
February 06, 2019 20:49 - 40 minutes - 76.2 MBYour hamster in inbred, it literally rains fish in Honduras and honeybees are into puke-play. Scott and Joshua also harp over the Haskell Free Library & Opera House, holidays, Heinz, Hallmark, helium and hummingbirds.
G: Galileo, Gummy Bears, GPS...
October 13, 2018 16:08 - 36 minutes - 68.7 MBGalileo’s fingers were stolen from his 100-year-old corpse, giraffes aren’t gay, they’re just curious, and hating gingers is a millenniums-old tradition. Joshua and Scott also gab about Gummy Bears, Captain Hanson Gregory, glaze, guinea pigs, Google, GPS and grapes.
F: Flat Earth, Flatulence, Flamingos...
September 23, 2018 09:00 - 39 minutes - 73.2 MBFlatulence and acoustics go hand-in-hand, there was a society who'd throw their dead loved ones into trees and the FDA may be trying to kill us all. Scott and Joshua also fuss over flat-earthers, fortune cookies, finger prints, French compound words, food additives, Fireball, fridges, the five-second rule, funeral proceedings, face blindness and Friday the 13th.
E: Exoplanets, Eyelash Parasites, Enemas…
September 09, 2018 11:00 - 34 minutes - 65.3 MBMost Europeans were once cannibals, licking your elbow doesn’t make you special and your eyelashes are being assaulted by millions of mites. Scott and Joshua also explore exoplanets, Ebola, eating dead people, eagles, earworms, Elephant Man, enemas, eunuchs, edibles and eBay.
D: Dead Baby Project, Denmark, Diabetes…
August 26, 2018 13:00 - 40 minutes - 74.2 MBThe U.S. government performed radiation testing on stolen dead baby parts, Dolphins will sexually assault you and your chances of dying in a vending machine-related accident may be higher than you think. Scott and Joshua also dissect Dracula, dead baby project, Dasani, dolphins, dentures, deodorant, death, decaf, didgeridoo, Dollar Tree, dodo birds, Denmark, diets, diabetes, diarrhea and Dr. Scholl’s.
C: Centrifugal Birth, Cotton Candy, Cash Registers...
August 12, 2018 17:19 - 33 minutes - 62.4 MBThere’s a table for pregnant women that will spin until your baby pops out, Captain Crunch tried to jump rank and Cleopatra had a face worth forgetting. Scott and Joshua also probe Christopher Columbus, chamber pots, cash registers, centrifugal birth, chickens, chapstick, crows, The Chubby Bunny Challenge, cotton candy, cranberries, centaurs, corn, clocks and cream soda.
B: Book Curses, Boob Sweat, Bidets...
August 12, 2018 16:57 - 34 minutes - 64.6 MBBig Bird almost dies in outer space (literally), Betty Crocker's a crock of sh*t and your belly button is just your former mouth. Scott and Joshua also dive into bidets, bridesmaids, Baby Ruth, blue whales, bless you, butter shots, book curses, boob sweat, breath, bees, bite-sized foods and birth.
A: Aquafaba, Antarctica, Aliens...
August 12, 2018 16:37 - 34 minutes - 64.5 MBTurns out there's a post office in Antarctica, acorns will kill you and Benjamin Franklin tried to shove six more letters into the alphabet. Scott and Joshua also discuss little-known facts about aquafaba, aardvarks, Australia, apples, America, alligators, animal print, astrophysics, almonds, allowance, aargh, airplanes, aliens and arks (the Noah variety).