Adopted Feels

Eli Harwood (aka Attachment Nerd) on Adoption, Attachment and How to Heal

Check out Eli's Instagram account Attachment Nerd, and her new book Securely Attached: Transform Your Attachment Patterns into Loving, Lasting Romantic Relationships (A Guided Journal). And connect with us on Instagram, Facebook, or via our website!

Where the hell have Hana & Ryan been? Awkward musings on failure, transitions, & big life choices

For more information about the Korean adoptee 2024 gathering in Sydney hosted by the Korean Adoptees in Australia Network, visit kaian.org.au

Conversations with Friends: Part 1 with Leah Nichols

Friendship might seem like a random topic for an adoptee podcast, and this series - of which the current episode is the first - is an experiment, tbh, like a lot of things we do here. But lately we’ve been thinking about it a lot. Maybe it’s because of the pandemic and the isolation that many of us felt, maybe it’s because Hana moved to Korea and had to make new friends - multiple times, or maybe it’s because of a larger cultural conversation around the role of friendship in our lives, alon...

Susan Stam wants you to stay with your feelings... just a little longer

What are you afraid to feel? Fear? Sadness? Anger? Whatever it is, adoptee coach Susan Stam (강선영) wants you to stay with it. And then stay with it a little longer. Adopted from Korea at the age of 4 years and 7 months to the Netherlands, Susan works as a coach specialising in relinquishment and adoption-related issues with AFC (Adoptee and Foster Care) Netherlands, founded by Hilbrand Westra (our Episode 17 guest!). But the path to becoming a coach wasn’t easy; Susan struggled with her own ...

Ra Chapman is changing the Australian arts scene, one production at a time

We had SO MUCH FUN with this guest and we think you will too. Korean-Australian adoptee Ra Chapman is a writer, actor and dramaturg. She has strong ties with the adoption community and works closely with Asian-Australian and diverse artists. Ra is one of those people who has been on our list of guests to invite for a long time, but we were just waiting for the right moment—and here it is! Ra’s debut play, K-BOX, which won the 2021 Patrick White Playwright Award, will premiere at the Malthou...

Hana's Korean language learning journey: 10 lessons

Today we're in for a treat! An outcome of some gentle encouragement from me (Ryan), in this episode Hana shares a beautifully written account of her Korean language learning journey thus far. In the loose form of a listicle - because we can't resist a good list on this podcast - here's 10 'lessons' Hana has learned about, well, learning one's original language as an adoptee, how it differs from learning a foreign language as a hobby, the frustrations and joys, the pressures and the rewards. A...

James Han Mattson isn't afraid of the dark: on writing about race, desire, and belonging

In this episode we have the pleasure of speaking to Korean adoptee and award-winning writer James Han Mattson. We start with James' path to becoming a writer and the moment when his Iowa acceptance letter arrived in the mail. He treats us to two readings of his work: an extended excerpt from his recent novel Reprieve, and his essay “Letter to a Stranger” published in the literary magazine Off Assignment, which is about a pivotal moment during his time living in Korea. We discuss some of the t...

Fact and fantasy in adoptee creative non-fiction: Jenny Heijun Wills on writing, consent, and self-preservation

In this episode we talk to the inimitable Jenny Heijun Wills and touch on some of the themes that - we feel - go to the very core of our stories and our storytellings as adoptees. Consent and access. Fact and fantasy. The challenges of charting our way through the stories people expect - often even demand of us since we were children - to aim for something that serves us: the nuanced narratives we deserve to have, and which we are allowed to create and invent. Jenny Heijun Wills is a multi-a...

Lee Herrick wants us all to be ok: On finding the fire, faith, and forgiveness

Born in Daejeon, Korea, and adopted to the United States at the age of ten months, Lee Herrick is the author of three books of poems: Scar and Flower, a finalist for the 2020 Northern California Book Award, Gardening Secrets of the Dead and This Many Miles from Desire. He is also the co-editor of the anthology The World I Leave You: Asian American Poets on Faith and Spirit. As well as being a celebrated poet, Lee is among one of the kindest, most generous, and sincere guests we have ever had ...

First encounters with food: stories from a life writing workshop with Mee Joo Kim

This is a special compilation episode featuring six powerful short pieces about first encounters with food from our birth cultures, read by their transracial adoptee authors, from our recent autobiographical writing workshop led by Korean adoptee Mee Joo Kim. Hana also has a little chat with Mee Joo about the value of adoptee-only spaces. We hope you love the short pieces as much as we did! We’d also like to thank the Overseas Koreans Foundation for making our writing workshops possible. If...

How to write (and live) more authentically with Jeremy Holt

In this episode, we chat with Jeremy Holt, a non-binary author whose most recent works include Made in Korea, Virtually Yours, Before Houdini, and Skip to the End. Their latest comic series, Made in Korea, is about a Korean nine-year-old named Jesse, who is adopted and sent to live with a lovely couple in America. Equipped with an encyclopedic brain but socially awkward, Jesse’s journey through the complexities of race, gender, and identity hits a fork in the road when she discovers she’s no...

Happy 50th Episode + Listener Q&A!

Happy 50th Episode + Listener Q&A! “How did you two meet? What is going on in your logo image? If Adopted Feels was a food, what would it be?” In this special 50th episode, we answer these very important questions and more, and reflect on the pod journey thus far. Warning: Hana gets bossy/rant-y, and Ryan is predictably sentimental. Plus, we share some highly personal new year’s resolutions for 2022. Thank you for staying with us for these past two and a half years, and thank you to everyone...

Post-Korea Feels: Transitioning Back to the US After Life in Korea with Kim Stoker & Eunha Lovell

This episode is all about leaving Korea and transitioning back to one’s adoptive country, and we found the perfect guests to talk about it. Kim Stoker first returned to live in Korea in 1995. She spent almost 20 years of her adult life there and has been based in the US since 2017. She was a leading activist in ASK (Adoptee Solidarity Korea) and continues to be an advocate for adoptee rights in South Korea. Eunha Lovell returned to Korea in 2007 after meeting birth family. While living in...

Better Together: Angela Gee & Robyn Joy Park, Adoptees of Colour & Adoption Specialist Therapists

We’ve had the privilege of speaking to so many people on the podcast and today’s guests are two of the warmest and most generous yet. Angela Gee and Robyn Joy Park are both Asian adoptees and licensed therapists based in the LA area, who serve the adoption community. Hana first crossed paths with Robyn almost 10 years ago in Seoul, when she co-facilitated a post-birth family reunion discussion group, and more recently, we saw Angela and Robyn speak at this year’s KAAN conference. When we appr...

What is the work and how do you know if you're doing it? On Asian American history, activism, and solidarity with Rebecca Kinney

For transracial adoptees and people of colour, the past 18 months have felt like an emotional gauntlet. At least, they have for us. From the murder of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor, which saw a surge of the Black Lives Matter movement, to rising anti-Asian racism and the Atlanta shootings, to the disparate impacts of COVID-19 due to systemic racism and chronic underfunding in public health, there's been a lot to reckon with. To keep educating ourselves, and in the hopes of continuing and d...

Asian enough, Australian enough, queer enough: Ellie Kim on reunion, lockdown, and learning to celebrate yourself

What do birth family reunion, drag, and skating have in common? For Australian Korean adoptee Ellie Kim, all of these things have helped her get to where she is today. In this casual, wide ranging convo, Ellie tells us about how meeting her birth family was a turning point in her life, and how she learned to embrace her numerous identities with the help of community, writing, and good mental health support. We also discuss self-care during lockdown, social media boundaries (or lack thereof),...

On Listening, Friendship, and Doing the Work with Pastor Kim of KoRoot

[CW: suicide] Pastor Do-Hyun Kim (김도현) talks about his early work in Switzerland and how he first became aware of Korean adoption, the activities he has run at KoRoot over the years to support adoptees, and his tireless commitment to raising awareness of adoption in Korea - including the separation and loss felt by adoptees and original mothers - what he has learned, and the company he has kept. He talks using anger as a powerful force for good, the importance of spotlighting authentic voice...

Stay out of the comments! Lessons from very minor internet fame

WE’RE BAAAAAACK! Ryan’s in Melbourne lockdown 5.0, or what feels like 50.0, and Hana can only meet up with one other person after 6pm in Seoul. Plus, she can’t listen to music faster than 120BPM at the gym (but songs like Robyn’s Dancing On My Own at 117BPM are A-OK.) Covid restrictions, eh. In this convo, Ryan shares some exciting life news and Hana talks about pandemic hypochondria and her visit to a one-stop-shop health check centre (kind of like a medical jjimjilbang). We also discuss b...

Actually, we’re f***ing badass: Embarking on The Hero’s Journey 3.0 with Korean Adoptee Ben Kaplan

On Adopted Feels, we’ve mainly interviewed friends and friends of friends (sliding into Joel Kim Booster’s DMs didn’t work, unfortunately - if anyone out there can hook us up, please do!). Until now. Korean adoptee Ben Kaplan contacted us out-of-the-blue to offer his story, becoming the first “completely random person” guest on the pod. It would be his first interview, so he apologized in advance in case he was a “noob” (which, for those of you like Ryan who are uninitiated to gamer cultur...

Ed Pokropski Ain’t Licking No Watermelons: On Comedy, Confidence, and What It Means To Be Asian American

In this episode we chatted with Edward Yoo Pokropski, the Executive Producer of the upcoming Asian Comedy Fest! Ed is also Writer/Producer for the Brand Creative Team at USA Network and Universal Kids for NBCUniversal. He has been nominated for a daytime Emmy twice and won zero times. He also performs stand-up and hosts events, sometimes for money, sometimes for a drink ticket and a story. He is originally from Philly and proud to be a Korean American adoptee. Ed tells us about moving to Ne...

The Intersectional Lives of Transgender Adoptees: an online panel event by Also-Known-As, Inc.

This episode is an audio recording of a recent online event called “The Intersectional Lives of Transgender Adoptees” (2021.04.26), organized by the adult adoptee organisation Also-Known-As, Inc., under the most excellent leadership of Korean adoptee Mike Mullen. In the first panel of its kind, Ryan, along with three amazing transgender intercountry adoptees—Pauline Park, Jin Jiang, Andy Marra—with facilitator and transgender Korean adoptee Min Matson, discuss what it's like being trans and ...

Exploring the “2nd gen Korean adoptee” experience with Bastiaan Flikweert, aka 신서빈

Not an adoptee and not quite a gyopo, Bastiaan Flikweert, also known as 신서빈, best describes himself as a second generation adoptee. Born in 1999 to two Dutch Korean adoptees, he spent his childhood living in both the Netherlands and Korea. He credits his intercultural upbringing with opening up many opportunities, but also with struggles and questions of identity and belonging. Bastiaan is completing an undergraduate degree with a double major in History and Korean Studies. He is currently li...

Catch Up With Us! On Working From Home, Work-Life Im/balance, & Ryan’s pitch for our Reality TV Debut

Welcome to the second quarter of 2021! (Scary.) This episode finds us in contrasting situations: Ryan has too much work to do and Hana has too little at times, and life in Melbourne is almost back to normal while covid restrictions continue in Seoul. We talk about work, work-life balance, asserting your own needs, and academic/teaching burnout - as well as what we’ve been watching during the pandemic. This convo was borne out of general life fatigue ('languishing,' as the NYT recently put i...

Vino and Chats with the Aussie Dining Club in Seoul (ft. Blossom Perriard, Meg O'Shea, & Peter Jo)

From secrecy to activism: A domestic Korean adoptee’s perspective, ft. YoungChang Min

In this episode we speak with a very special guest: YoungChang Min (민영창), activist and co-director of the Domestic Korean Adoptee Association. It’s a perspective that a lot of overseas adoptees don’t often hear about - that’s been our experience, at least. YoungChang explains what it was like finding out, at the age of 13, that he was adopted - and to have his adoptive mother deny it when he asked her if it was true. He talks about his exposure to overseas Korean adoptees, adoptee activism,...

Feel the Fear and Be a Boss Anyway, ft. Beauty & Seoul Founder Maree Kinder

Maree Kinder, a literal beauty boss, third culture kid-grown-woman and Korean adoptee, talks to us about the unique origins of her business Beauty & Seoul, connection to Korea, mental health, and more. Maree Kinder is a multi-award winning entrepreneur and Founder of K-Beauty online store Beauty & Seoul. She is widely credited with making K-Beauty more accessible in the UK. A third culture kid, she was raised in Australia, Japan, Holland and England where she currently resides. Given her ow...

The Stories We Want to Tell: On Trauma, Resilience, & Identity with Korean American Filmmaker Aaron Yunsuk Choe

“I tried so hard to fit into Korea, and I only realised - honestly like six months ago - that I shouldn’t have to try so hard [here] either. I spent so long trying to fit into America...here, I can just be myself...And if people don’t understand me, then so be it. I’m just gonna be who I want to be. I don’t think I could have had that [realisation] without coming to Korea.” January 13th was Korean American Day, which got us thinking about Korean Americans, Korean adoptees, and the ways in wh...

On Han, Jeong, & Healing With Korean American Spiritual Care Practitioner Kristine Chong

What is han (한)? What is jeong (정)? How can we apply them in our lives in a practical way? In today’s episode we unpack these Korean concepts and discuss how they may offer different insights from conventional Western psychology. Our guide for this conversation is Kristine Chong, a Korean American spiritual care practitioner and activist. Warm, genuine, and down-to-earth, Kristine tells us about her non-linear pathway to chaplaincy work, her multi-passionate career (a combination of spiritu...

Catching Up With Hana & Ryan: On Plans (Or Lack Thereof), Culture Shock, & Curiosity

Hey everyone, we’ve missed you! In this episode, the two of us sit down for a long overdue transcontinental catch up—but first, Hana shares another extended Seoul life update (she likes to do that)—in which she realises, “Oh s#*^! I live here now”. She also delves into the process of cultural adaptation and the anxiety of not knowing what’s next, followed by a little heart-to-heart with Ryan about life plans versus, uh, less-linear trajectories and the value of following your curiosity. Alon...

"I want to hear someone call me home”: Kee Byung-keun on food, love, and connection

Hana wanted to get this guest on the pod for ages but was too afraid to ask, but now - hooray! - here he is. Kee Byung-keun is a food writer, photographer, and editor based in Tokyo. Born in Seoul sometime in 1984 and sent away to the United States soon thereafter, Kee was raised in rural Louisiana—where, as he says, the food was good but life was hard. Many years and many wrong turns later, Kee made his way to Tokyo, where he built a life and a community around the city’s superlative food sc...

Adoptee Activism and Building Community: Pt 2 with Boon Young Han, Jenny Na, & kimura byol-nathalie lemoine

In this episode, we share the 2nd part of our conversation with Boon Young, Jenny, and kimura, three heavyweights of the global Korean adoptee community, who have committed decades of their lives to advocating for adoptee rights and social change in Korea. We talk about coming 'out of the fog,' why they first became involved in adoptee activism, what activism means and looks like, and what they've learned over their many years of experience. Listen to our previous episode for our discussion ...

Adoption Truths Day: Demanding the truth about our adoption histories and identities - with Boon Young Han, Jenny Na, and kimura byol-nathalie lemoine

As international adoptees, everyone knows someone whose adoption records were falsified, manipulated, switched, or never existed in the first place. In fact, accurate, complete records are practically the exception to the rule. We also know the impact of inaccurate, patchy information on an adoptee’s identity. Most people take their birthdate, age, place of birth, and parents’ names for granted, but some adoptees fight for this information for our whole lives. This year marks the first annu...

"punching you in the heart with comics": On Home, Relationships, and Creating Nikkioften

Nikki Lee Bix Webster is the creator of nikkioften, a visual arts project “dedicated to punching you in the heart with comics”—and she's very good at it. In this episode, Nikki talks to us about living in and leaving Korea, moving back to the U.S., creating home, drawing, and nurturing one's inner child. She shares what she's learned about relationships and break-ups, adoptee tendencies to perfectionism, growth, and the importance of humor. Nikki is a Korean American who grew up in Towson, M...

Race, Identity, & Finding Your Voice as an Asian Adoptee: Intimate Convos with Adam Goodman

In recent months, the Black Lives Matter Movement and anti-Asian covid-19 pandemic racism have prompted renewed urgent conversations regarding race among Korean and other Asian adoptees. In this conversation with Adam Goodman of Plan A Magazine and the Escape from Plan A podcast, we talk about racial and adoptee identity, and finding your voice as an Asian person. This is neither a guide nor a resource - there are numerous excellent texts out there, which we will link to on our socials! - but...

We Do Our Birth Charts! Astrology for Adoptees with Mallory Gill

We’ve mentioned star signs a few times before on the podcast, but today we take it one step further by talking to professional astrologer and shamanic healer Mallory Gill. In this episode Mallory gives us a primer on astrology, what perspectives it can offer - particularly for adoptees - and we learn that Hana is a very-virgo-virgo, and Ryan is a scratch-the-taurus-surface & look out! there's a gemini. Our meeting with Mallory takes us in all sorts of directions, so heads up, our post-intervi...

Adoptee Suicide Awareness Series Part 3: Interview with Louise

[CW: suicide] This is the final episode of our 3-part series on adoptee suicide awareness and prevention, dedicated to a special member of our community who died last year. We speak with Louise, a Korean adoptee in Australia whose sister, also a Korean adoptee, died by suicide. Louise tells us her very personal story and shares her unique perspective on the impacts of her sister’s death, her grief journey so far, and her reflections on the relationship between adoption and mental health. In...

Adoptee Suicide Awareness Series Part 2: Interview with Nicole Sheppard

In the second episode of our Adoptee Suicide Awareness series, we talk to Nicole Sheppard, a Korean adoptee, long-time community advocate and leader, and Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC) from the Twin Cities, Minnesota. This is a long episode, but a super important one: we not only talk about suicide but about adoptee mental health in general. Our conversation covers things like: common risk factors for adoptee suicide, how we can look out for each other and talk about suicide ...

Adoptee Suicide Awareness Series Part 1: Interview with Pamela Kim Adams

[CW: this episode contains discussions of suicide, eating disorders, and self harm. Note: At around the 40min mark, our guest speaks in more detail about her suicide attempts. She treats this topic very carefully and we have edited this section - but listeners may wish to skip ahead at this point.] May is Mental Health Awareness Month and this is the first episode in a series on adoptee suicide awareness, dedicated to a special member of the community who died by suicide last year. We know t...

Seoul Life Update: covid in Korea, Coping with Anxiety, and Hana Gets Tested

In today's episode we're talking about what its been like living in Korea during covid-19 times, and some of our coping strategies which have seen mixed success. And in the interests of distraction and frivolity, we end the episode with a random questions segment! Which is something we've wanted to do regularly on the podcast, but Ryan is just really bad at springing questions on the unsuspecting Hana. And one last thing- just after recording this episode, Hana underwent a covid scare and got...

Running, Grit & Community: Lauren Jung Reflects on Six Years in Korea

In this episode, we talk to another special friend—Lauren Jung, an accomplished ultra-marathon and trail runner, an active member of the adoptee community in Seoul, a soon-to-be law school student, and a passionate dog mum. Lauren reflects on the early days of moving to Korea almost 6 years ago, what running means to her, and preparing to close this chapter of her life to start law school in the US. Brilliant yet modest, passionate yet practical, generous, down-to-earth, and thoughtful—these ...

A (Non-Productive) Week in My Seoul Life

In this audio-log style episode, Hana shares a little 6-month update (or 7 months to be precise) on her life in Seoul. Hana gives us an honest and descriptive glimpse into her everyday life in Korea, complete with work-related stress, the rare home-cooked meal, baking when you don't have an oven, friendship, community, and the ability to make meaning in/out of the situations she finds herself in. Hope you enjoy it!

Becoming a Parent for the First Time: Jess Walton on Adoption Research, Motherhood, and Connectedness

In this episode, Ryan talks to Dr. Jess Walton, a Melbourne-based senior researcher, an author, a new mother, and a dear friend of ours. Jess shares openly and generously about her research, her new book (Korean Adoptees and Transnational Adoption: Embodiment and Emotion, Routledge 2019) and her experience of becoming a parent for the first time. We also discuss Jess's research on 'acting white,' adoptee emotional labor, racism, the important and often overlooked role of foster mothers, attac...

Happy New Year! Wrapping Up 2019 and Getting Reflective (shucks, we can’t help it)

In this short and sweet mini-pod, Hana and Ryan discuss their 2019s, hopes and goals for 2020, and the joys of running the podcast so far. Hana shares her NYE reflective prompts, her grand vision for 2020 (in the form of an animal, naturally!), and they both contemplate what 2020 might mean for their relationships with Korea. Also, stay tuned until the end for an exciting update from Ryan! Thanks so much to all our listeners for supporting us during our first year and we look forward to spen...

Holiday Special: Self-Care, Burnout & Boundaries!

Tune in to our conversation on self-care, burnout, stress, and the holidays - including references to (Hana’s wellness guru) Elizabeth Gilbert, the potential over-use of the metaphor of eggs in baskets and scared puppies, how self-care can also involve self-discipline, and the importance of identifying and legitimizing one's feelings. We also managed to sneak in unplanned discussions of Disney's Frozen 2 (spoiler alert!) and the K-drama thriller Tunnel (major spoiler alert!). Happy holidays e...

Healing Body, Mind and Soul: Hilbrand Westra and the Systemic Constellations Approach

Hana sat down with Hilbrand Westra in Seoul, after participating in one of his workshops for adoptees, for an extended convo that goes deep into feelings. They talk about the systemic approach, core issues that adoptees face, the path to healing, the limitations of conventional talking therapy for some adoptees, working specifically with men, and more. [CW: This episode discusses adoptee suicide] Hilbrand is a Korean adoptee from the Netherlands, well-known in the international adoptee com...

Opening Up About Our Families!

Although Hana and Ryan have discussed various topics so far on the podcast, they’ve shied away from talking about their adoptive families. In this episode they talk about the reasons why, about trying to protect their parents’ feelings, and what they do and don’t discuss with their parents. They also reflect on what it’s like talking on community education panels to adoptive parents, and give their two cents on what younger adoptees need from their parents. P.S. Stay tuned til the end to he...

Nine Years Later: Long-Term Birth Family Search & Processing the First Trip Home Experience - An Interview with Alyson Yost

A friend and podcast listener recently pointed out that many of our episodes talk about search and reunion, especially now that both of us have reunited. But of course not all adoptees who start a birth family search reunite, and not all adoptees want to search in the first place. In light of National Adoption Awareness Month, we wanted to expand the narrative to include the experiences of adoptees who search unsuccessfully over an extended period of time, and whose journeys are equally impor...

Meg O'Shea (aka even.little.meg): On Comics, Documenting Everyday Life, and Living in Seoul

Hana sits down for a casual conversation with the very talented Meg O'Shea - aka @even.little.meg - a comic maker and illustrator, and fellow Australian Korean adoptee living in Seoul. They talk about Meg's comics and illustrations, why she was drawn to comics as a medium, moving to Korea, racism in Australia, belonging, and her creative process (spoiler: it involves snacks). CW: Interview mentions sexual harassment and sexual assault.

Meeting your Birth Mother! (As a Nonbinary Trans Adoptee)

In this episode Ryan spills the beans on what it was like meeting their birthmother for the first time! We talk about the additional complexities involved in being a trans and queer adoptee searching for birth family - incl. explaining one's gender identity and relationship, DNA testing, and fear of rejection. We also touch on themes relevant to cis and trans adoptees alike: What does it mean to forgive? And if we are 'reunited' with birth family, how do we create and sustain meaningful conne...

Harlow’s Monkey in the House! Interview with JaeRan Kim

In this episode, Hana and Ryan sit down with JaeRan Kim, who we were very lucky to catch right after the IKAA Gathering. JaeRan is a social worker, writer, teacher and scholar. Her involvement in the adoptee activist community began with her well-known blog “Harlow’s Monkey”, an unapologetic look at transracial and transnational adoption, which has been running for 13 years strong. We talk about how JaeRan first got into social work, her current projects including research on adoptees as pa...