Heteropessimism: Or, How to Ignore the Sadness of the Sexual Relation

In this episode, we discuss the thought-provoking 2019 New Inquiry essay by Asa Seresin "On Heteropessimism: Heterosexuality is nobody’s personal problem."

Andy defends the future of heterosexuality from the sidelines so to say.

Jake introduces Lacan's "there is no sexual relation," gets personal, digs his own holes, holds back his tears, and offers the formula "the penis lies too" as a way for men and women to discuss the terror of their mutual performativity.

Our guest Anaís steals the show, offering up her own personal stories, parsing very subtle lines between the actual material vulnerability of women and the condescending failures of men occupying positions of allyship or sexual castration. She advocates throughout for a  near impossible conversation about mutual vulnerability and mutual desire.

Sagi wonders whether it is right to demand a certain emotional labor from man when there is a kind of instilled lack of awareness thwarting this capacity. He also makes sure throughout that we distinguish between resentment and ressentiment. Perhaps for the first time introducing his antipathological method, he describes how an initial resentment towards the failure of desire can ultimately lead to a new discourse or orientation.

Jack remains silent.