We Gotta Thing - A Swinger Podcast
117 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 1 month ago - ★★★★★ - 702 ratingsWe are a long-time married couple deepening our relationship through the swinging lifestyle . We intend for our podcast to resonate with those having similar life experience and values who are either in or potentially entering the lifestyle. Not a "how to" resource but more of a "what if" resource that generates authentic conversation between couples to help them find their place in the lifestyle. Care to join us?
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Episodes
Episode 116: How Vulnerability Enhances Your Lifestyle Journey
May 09, 2024 02:25 - 1 hour - 60.8 MBBeing vulnerable is not easy and may not come natural for some, espcially when exploring the lifestyle. We tend to wall off our personal lives because we're worried about people knowing too much about us. We don't want to be known. We're here just to have some sexy fun, right? In this episode we talk about how being vulnerable has led to some amazing friendships as well as a lot of sexy fun with people who care. The more we share the more we gain confidence, become more attractive to other...
Episode 115: Are You Too Nice?
March 26, 2024 10:19 - 1 hour - 72.5 MBAre you the type of person who puts the feelings of others above of your own? Do you want to have a stronger voice when someone suggests something you don’t necessarily want to do? You are not alone! Listen in as we discuss how and why this happens in a non-monogamous lifestyle and what the potential fallout, consequences and sometimes benefits can be!
Episode 114: Is a Kiss Just a Kiss?
January 31, 2024 23:50 - 1 hour - 58.8 MBWe explore the perceptions and realities of what, exactly a kiss can mean to those in the lifestyle community. Does granting a kiss commit me to a sexual experience? Why do some couples have a 'no kissing' rule? How do I gain consent to give a kiss? Can giving someone a kiss send the wrong message? A kiss may sound like a simple thing but it's anything but that to those exploring and experiencing the world of non-monogamy.
Episode 113: The Realities of Clothing Optional Resorts
January 05, 2024 01:02 - 1 hour - 78.5 MBListen in on our live recording from Desire Pearl where our guests discuss their unique perspectives, perceptions and realities of the term 'clothing optional.' Most of us struggle with self-confidence and have body-image issues so the idea of being naked in front of others can cause anxiety and fear. After hearing stories from other 'real people' we can better understand what it's all about and how it can help us discover and grow into our real selves. Being naked is a good thing!
Episode 112: An Origin Story- Scott & Kelly
November 09, 2023 00:37 - 1 hour - 68.7 MBJoin Mr & Mrs Jones and they interview "Scott & Kelly." This couple's journey into the lifestyle sounds like many other origin stories but then takes a bit of a turn when a family member shares some unexpected news. In another suprising twist the lifestyle community jumps in for a big assist to help and support them work through an interesting dilemma.
Episode 111: Finding Who You Weren't Looking For
October 11, 2023 15:18 - 1 hour - 55 MBAs newbies we started our lifestyle journey looking for people to connect with and then explore sexually. Back then it was all about the excitment, the taboo nature of the lifestyle and a boost to our sex lives. Something we would just keep at arms distance on the very periphery of our lives. Then we started to meet some of the most amazing humans on the planet. Now we are surrounded by a warm and caring community and some of the best (pants-off and pants-on) lifelong friends a couple can ...
Episode 110: An Origin Story- Chris and Nancy
August 28, 2023 14:36 - 1 hour - 77.1 MBChris and Nancy share their amazing and unique story of finding the lifestyle through a period of intense emotional exploration after being together for more than 20 years. We've learned that no relationship journey into the lifestyle is the same but we so all experience our own twists and turns. We hope you enjoy listening to them tell their story!
Episode 109: Resort Management Interview- Grand Miches 2.0
July 17, 2023 00:02 - 1 hour - 72.6 MBIn this bonus episode we sit down with Original Resorts Management to discuss the somewhat bumpy opening of their Grand Miches resorts, their explanation for the back-and-forth change in the clothing optional policy and their vision for expanding in the near future.
Episode 108: Navigating Vacation Playtime
June 30, 2023 21:48 - 1 hour - 56.5 MBMany couples ask about how to 'successfully' navigate a clothing optional resort. How do we find couples like us? How do we socialize with others without them thinking it's an invitation to play? How do we let couples down if we don't want to play? How do we interact with couples the day after we play? Listen in as we discuss our own experiences and how we see others managing this very common dilemma.
Episode 107: Our Temptation Grand Miches Experience
May 23, 2023 00:51 - 1 hour - 64.7 MBIn advance of our group trip to Temptation Grand Miches in the Dominican Republic we visited the resort to experience it ourselves. Through construction delays, supply chain disruptions, hurricanes and normal growing pains the resort is now open for business! Listen in as we describe what we enjoyed and what we think still needs to be improved upon to bring it up to par with the Desire Pearl and Riviera Maya resorts in Mexico.
Episode 106: Navigating Cliques in the Lifestyle
March 28, 2023 23:58 - 1 hour - 59.1 MBWe hear story after story about the difficulties many (and mostly newer) couples in the lifestyle experience when encountering 'cliques' while attending events, visiting clubs or attending parties or meet and greets. Are they really cliques or could it be our perception of others based on things we observe or the feelings we experience at such events? Will they really reject us or ignore us if we have the courage to approach them or could this a predisposed fear of rejection? Join us as ...
Episode 105: Origin Stories- "J&B 2.0"
February 26, 2023 23:59 - 1 hour - 67.4 MBListen in on our conversation with our friends "J&B 2.0" as they share their particular story of how they discovered and began exploring the lifestyle together! They are funny, smart and very real as they share their experiences in hopes of helping others who may be embarking on a similar journey. Origin Stories is an interview based podcast format that we will occasionally publish to help you experience the diverse and unique lifestyle journeys of others.
Episode 104: Choosing a Lifestyle Event with Cate from PCAP
January 30, 2023 00:56 - 1 hour - 71.8 MBFinding lifestely events and then choosing which event is the best fit for your approach to the lifestyle can be difficult and often confusing. Listen in as we chat with event host Cate from Libertine Events and the Wanderlust Swingers podcast. We'll share insights and answer questions from couples exploring the lifestyle and facing the same challenges.
Episode 103: Facing First-Timer Fears at Desire Resorts
December 21, 2022 23:48 - 1 hour - 69.8 MBListen in as our event guests discuss working through their individual fears, anxieties and challenges at a clothing optional resort during our week together at Desire Pearl Resort just south of Cancun, Mexico.
Episode 102: You Gotta Own Your Own Sh*t
November 07, 2022 23:58 - 1 hour - 87.4 MBWe sit down with four of our lifestyle friends and share real stories about what it's like to experience hurt feelings during an event and how to dissect, debrief, discover and confront the root cause of the issue. As much as it hurts sometimes, we discuss why we think it's important to work through the issues together in order to experience personal growth and strengthen our relationships.
Episode 101: Deal Breakers
October 13, 2022 00:20 - 1 hour - 77.4 MBWe discuss four distinct behaviors we consider to be deal breakers to moving forward and possibly making new lifestyle friends and connecting with potential play partners. Sharing opinions on politics, religion or other emotionally charged topics Being closed minded or judgmental toward others Being 'tone deaf,' or not being able to read the room Trying too hard to make something happen What do you think? What behaviors do you consider to be deal breakers?
Episode 100: Are You Willing to Put in the Hard Work?
August 31, 2022 22:49 - 1 hour - 56.2 MBFinding your tribe, making lifelong friends, connecting for sexy playtime and growing your primary relationship are just a few ways to define 'success' in the lifestyle. Many may mistakenly believe you can just fill out a profile and 'show up' to quickly enjoy these benefits. We have learned that just like in life, you must both put in the hard work over a period of time to experience all the lifestyle has to offer. Are you ready to put in the hard work? We believe the reward is worth th...
Episode 99: Harnessing That New Relationship Energy
July 31, 2022 15:41 - 1 hour - 68.3 MBNew Relationship Energy (NRE) is that sexual buzz we feel when we first meet and connect with a couple or individual. We discuss navigating this heightened state of emotional and sexual feelings by processing it, understanding it, keeping it in perspective and responding to it in a healthy way. NRE can feel scary and risky but we believe if it's understood and managed well it can provide a super charged experience and be very meaningful (and a whole lot of fun) for all involved.
Episode 98: The Need for Lifestyle Community
June 21, 2022 13:46 - 1 hour - 95.7 MBAs the idea and exploration of consensual non-monogamy continues to grow we have noticed the need for organized community. The different flavors and diverse approaches means that one size does not fit all needs. We invited our friends Fin and Emma from the Normalizing Non-monogamy podcast to chat with us about their community and how the four of us see how communites are forming and how to find the one that fits you best. Here are a few communities to explore: Normalizaing Non-monogamy...
Episode 97: Our Thing Might Not Be Your Thing
May 25, 2022 23:00 - 1 hour - 61.4 MBTo quote Mrs Jones, "we should be an example and not a blueprint." It may seem natural to adapt our 'thing' into your lifestyle journey but that could be a mistake. Giving yourselves an opportunity to create and refine your own 'thing' while learning from the examples of others in the lifestyle can be liberating and exciting.
Episode 96: Non-Monogamy Coaching by Expansive Connection
April 24, 2022 13:53 - 1 hour - 110 MBCatherine (one of our favorite humans) and her team from Expansive Connection join us to discuss how they have created a unique method of coaching non-monogamous people! Not only do they offer a 'judgment free' zone but they bring their certified credentials and experience in the lifestyle. Learn more about what an experience will be like with Catherine and Expansive Connection below. Expansive Connection Expansive Connection in the We Gotta Thing Community NNM Enneagram Episode 1 N...
Episode 95: The Lifestyle IS Real Life
March 30, 2022 00:30 - 1 hour - 64.6 MBWe often hear couples suggest they are taking a break from the lifestyle due to 'real life' issues. We also hear some say that 'real life' is getting in the way of their lifestyle activities. In this episode we share some very personal news and explain why we believe the lifestyle IS real life and the two can successfully co-exist.
Episode 94: Is it Jealousy or Envy?
February 16, 2022 17:13 - 1 hour - 74.8 MBHave you experienced lifestyle play partners getting a little upset when you choose to spend time with others? How about hard feelings when one of you seems to be enjoying the lifestyle more than the other? Some use the term 'jealous' when these things happen but we'd like to dive a little deeper and talk about why we use the the word envy as opposed to jealousy.
Episode 93: What if We Are Outed?
January 17, 2022 15:33 - 1 hour - 79.9 MBThis is the most important topic that nobody wants to talk about! Chances are this won't happen to you (as it did us) but we still want to help prepare you just in case... We reflect back on our experience of being outed and discuss what we've learned (and are still learning) during the process. Yes, it's painful but it's not the end of the world!
Episode 92: Snapshots from Desire Pearl
November 30, 2021 23:55 - 1 hour - 80.9 MBListen in as our guests share their Desire Pearl 2021 snapshots in a recorded-live conversation from the resort! Some are thoughtful and meaningful, some are sexy and others are downright hilarious! Oh, and we share ours as well... Our new 'What's Your Thing?' sexy and smart card game is now available! Here is our updated Naughty Stockings list just in time for the holiday shopping season (or any season really)...
Episode 91: Rejected Again- Why Don't They Like Us?
October 31, 2021 23:44 - 1 hour - 78.8 MBThis month we discuss why other couples reject us when reaching out from a lifestyle dating site and how to improve our chances of success in the future. This episode complements our episode 62 "Putting Yourself Out There - Lifestyle Profiles 2.0" and our blog post on the same topic titled "Our First Online Couple Profile."
Episode 90: The Importance of Trust in the Lifestyle
September 23, 2021 20:20 - 1 hour - 90.3 MBWe discuss the importance of trust from four different angles: trusting your relationship, trusting each other, trusting other couples and trusting who you are becoming in the lifestyle. Also, I (Mr Jones) share my first ever experience getting waxed...
Episode 89: Enjoying Group Play
August 30, 2021 00:52 - 1 hour - 84.9 MBGroup play can be fun but also tricky! In this episode we explore the benefits and pitfalls and share our perspective on how we approach and navigate playing in larger groups. We also recap our very first Desire Mansion takeover event!
Episode 88: The Art of Avoiding Mistakes
July 26, 2021 02:19 - 1 hour - 75.2 MBNo matter how long you've been in the lifestyle you are going to make mistakes. So we've come up with a few tips to help you minimize those mistakes and make your play experiences more meaningful and fun!
Episode 87: Normalization by Exposure
June 23, 2021 11:44 - 1 hour - 72.8 MBIn this episode we discuss how our perceptions change to our reality the more we are exposed to actual events. All of us have pre-lifestyle perceptions, newbie lifestyle perceptions and even veteran lifestyle perceptions that can change- but only if we take a step (or two) forward and try new things. Blog post mentioned: That One Time in Band Camp
Episode 86: Being Bi-Something in the Lifestyle
May 19, 2021 00:00 - 1 hour - 84.4 MBThere are perceptions in the lifestyle that a woman must be 'bi-something' to attract and connect with other couples. On the men's side of things there is a double standard and a stigma attached to being 'bi-something' in the lifestyle. In this episode our goal is to dispel some myths and share our personal views around each in an attempt to provide a safe space for sharing thought provoking conversations in the lifestyle. We believe these conversations must occur for people's minds to be ...
Episode 85: Feels Like the First Time
April 26, 2021 12:27 - 56 minutes - 51.6 MBPerhaps you have not had your first play experience yet or haven't had one in a very long time due to the current pandemic. Preparing for that first play experience creates a lot of build up, anticipation and nerves. No matter how that first time goes one can lose sight of the fact that it's only one experience and should not be the benchmark for all future play times in the lifestyle!
Episode 84: The Let Down- Can We Still Be Friends?
March 30, 2021 00:35 - 1 hour - 75.7 MBDo you struggle with if, when and how to tell other couples you're not interested in meeting? What about after you've played and you've lost interest? What if they ask you why you aren't interested? What if you are the recipient of a 'let down' message? Do you want to know why or would you rather just move on to the next couple? Does the sting of rejection ever get easier? We invite you to listen in as we discuss this topic from both sides!
Episode 83: The Struggle is Real
February 22, 2021 01:00 - 1 hour - 70 MBNot only does real life often get in the way of engaging in the lifestyle, but simply staying sexually connected as a couple is a struggle. Add a global pandemic to the mix and you have the perfect storm of events that make this struggle almost impossible to avoid. In this episode we really don't have solutions to the issue, we simply share where we are in this so that as a couple you know you are not alone.
Episode 82: The Compatibility Conversation
January 22, 2021 03:28 - 1 hour - 73.2 MBWe believe there are three important components of compatibility that we need to consider when trying to find connections with people in the lifestyle: General Compatibility, Safety & Health Compatibility and Sexual Compatibility. In this episode we define these components, discuss why they are critical for success and how to know if such compatibility exists when you're meeting new friends.
Episode 81: The Language of the Lifestyle
November 30, 2020 00:00 - 1 hour - 78.6 MBIn this episode we discuss the idea that there is a unique language spoken by those in the swinging lifestyle. We believe this language is comprised of four distinct elements: the language of speaking, the language of listening, the language of the body and the language of behavior. We also believe becoming fluent in this language will help smooth the pathway forward and help you more easily connect with others.
Episode 80: Finding True Friends in the Lifestyle
October 31, 2020 00:00 - 1 hour - 74.3 MBWe talk a lot about all the special friendships we've made in the lifestyle and many of you express frustration over finding the type of connections we describe. In this episode we offer tips on what it takes to be successful finding and building special relationships with those who will become true friends!
Episode 79: Can We Afford the Lifestyle?
September 27, 2020 16:14 - 1 hour - 63.3 MBIt's not a secret that engaging in the lifestyle can be expensive! In this episode we discuss budgeting tips for your lifestyle adventures and why we prioritize spending money on us as an investment in our relationship.
Episode 78: How Do I Know She is Interested in Me?
August 31, 2020 00:00 - 1 hour - 88.2 MBMen are programmed through all aspects of life to avoid showing interest in other women. But now we are in this lifestyle where other women expect us to show some interest. This is so confusing! How are us guys supposed to know when you ladies are interested in getting to know us better? Get out your notepads for this episode as Mrs Jones sets us all straight in the matter...
Episode 77: I Never Imagined I Would Ever...
July 27, 2020 00:00 - 1 hour - 86.9 MBBefore entering the lifestyle or becoming experienced in the lifestyle we never imagined doing some of the things we've actually done and things we've learned about the lifestyle. We share how our perspectives change over time and also share what some of our listeners have to say about their own experiences! Mentioned: Room 77 Podcast with Richard and Lauren
Episode 76: Be Authentic- Acknowledging All Facets of You
June 29, 2020 00:00 - 1 hour - 60.4 MBAs we are mired in the current pandemic many of us are being pulled back away from our social and sexual mindsets. When we are concerned about our jobs, our children, our families and our health we need to be deliberate to ensure our relationships and our sexuality is a priority! We discuss the difficulty of resolving the tension between who we are wired to be as humans and who we are trained to be by society. Mentioned in this episode: Brene Brown Unlocking Us Podcast Casual Toys stor...
Episode 75: Confronting Men's Performance Issues
May 26, 2020 00:00 - 1 hour - 86.9 MBErectile Dysfunction and Performance Anxiety are often misunderstood by many in the lifestyle. Numerous couples experience this issue but don't take the time to acknowledge, openly discuss, research and confront the issue head on. Normally us guys would rather get a prescription for a performance enhancing medicine but never understand and treat the underlying health and psychological issues. Mr Night returns to give us his professional opinion and we share our views as an experienced li...
Episode 74: Health, Wellness, Hormones and the Lifestyle
April 23, 2020 00:00 - 1 hour - 90.3 MBAs we all focus on staying well during this pandemic we thought it a good time to talk about a few health related issues and how they impact our lifestyle journey. "Mr Night" is a certified Family Nurse Practitioner of 20 years and is also a certified Bio-identical Hormone Replacement Specialist. He and his wife "Mrs Night" are also in the lifestyle and join us to discuss how diet, exercise, hormones and supplements can be used to proactively manage our health as we age. Questions for "M...
Episode 73: Opposites Attract?
March 23, 2020 00:27 - 1 hour - 81.6 MBWe've all heard the term 'opposites attract' when talking about relationships. Does the same hold true when finding connections in the lifestyle? Do we search for people just like our partners or do we find ourselves attracted to those who are the opposite? Listen in as we discuss our preferences and what we're still learning about ourselves and each other as we continue to navigate this lifestyle. Mentioned: Casual Toys USA Transfers Everlywell STI Testing Double Date Nation Kasidi...
Episode 72: Voices Inside My Head-Don't Be Your Own C***Blocker
February 17, 2020 00:00 - 1 hour - 89.2 MBWe are all guilty of creating false narratives and making up those stories in our heads as we consider approaching another couple in the lifestyle. Sometimes we don't even give the other couple a chance because we are certain we know the ending of the story! We convince ourselves that they are out of our league, or they won't find us attractive, or they will probably just reject us. We talk with our friends Andi and Dave from the lifestyle dating site Double Date Nation about how we can al...
Episode 71: The Kiss and Tell Dilemma
January 15, 2020 00:00 - 1 hour - 81.5 MBIn this episode we discuss the issue of 'Kissing and Telling' in the lifestyle. How do you feel about couples sharing personal details about a private play experience? Do you share details with others to include the names of your play partners? Is there ever a good reason to Kiss and Tell? Listen in as we discuss our opinions in the matter!
Episode 70: Desire 2019- Reflections by the Ladies
December 16, 2019 00:08 - 1 hour - 87.3 MBListen in on our conversation with a resort full of imperfect but beautiful ladies! The ladies of Desire discuss what they've had to realize and overcome in order to enjoy and grow into the lifestyle. Along the way the are discovering real transformation both in themselves and in relationships with their partners.
Episode 69: Consent- More Than Words
November 12, 2019 00:18 - 1 hour - 83.8 MBWe all agree consent is a bedrock principle in the lifestyle but most conversations around this topic focus on verbal consent. We'll talk about using our words but will also consider two additional dimensions: non-verbal consent (body language) and giving yourself consent.
Episode 68: The 'Social Sexy' Lifestyle
October 21, 2019 00:09 - 1 hour - 87.6 MBTopic- Some people are either put off by the term "swinger" or have misperceptions of what it really means today. We've decided to use the term 'Social Sexy' to describe how we view and engage with others in the world of ethical non-monogamy. Mentioned: Our friend "Ess" is a boudoir photographer. Check him out on Instagram and read his recent blog post on our website!
Episode 67: Eyes Wide Open- Lifestyle Red Flags
September 23, 2019 00:00 - 1 hour - 79.5 MBWe discuss identifying red flags in other couples and how to respond when you see them. We also talk about red flags that pop up within your own relationship and how, if left unresolved can lead to you becoming a red flag to other couples. Listen in as we work through one of our own red flags!