Stellar Firma
142 episodes - English - Latest episode: 6 months ago - ★★★★★ - 712 ratings“Build your planet, keep in line… also clones."
Stellar Firma is a weekly Science Fiction, Comedy podcast following the misadventures of Stellar Firma Ltd.'s highest born but lowest achieving planetary designer Trexel Geistman and his bewildered clone assistant David 7. Join them each episode as they attempt to take listener submissions and craft them into the galaxy's most luxurious, most expensive and most questionably designed bespoke planets.
However, with Trexel's corporate shark of a line manager Hartro Piltz breathing down their necks and I.M.O.G.E.N., the station's omnipresent and omniinvasive stationwide A.I. monitoring those necks to within 3 decimal places, they'll be lucky to make it a week before being slurried and recycled into raw human resources.
Over 76 Episodes to enjoy in this long form audio drama.
For more information on Stellar Firma and our award winning fiction podcasts, visit www.rustyquill.com
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Episodes
Announcement: 2023 Holiday News from Rusty Towers
December 14, 2023 16:00 - 7 minutes - 9.31 MBThis announcement from CEO Alexander J Newall includes RQ Network shows to check out, a review of RQ Originals, including the brand new Neon Inkwell and the now fully released Cry Havoc! Ask Questions Later, as well as a summary of the exciting new merchandise partnerships from this year (in case you need some last minute gifts!) There is also a Special Announcent about the release of the Magnus Protocol! Just in case you were curious. Thank you, from all of us at Rusty Towers, and we hope...
Special Announcement: Magnus, Recent Network Shows and More
October 24, 2022 15:58 - 4 minutes - 5.66 MBStatement from CEO, Alexander J Newall regarding new network additions, information on The Magnus Archives 2, the return of Rusty Fears, and more! Transcript: https://bit.ly/3DrmqUP For more information on Rusty Fears visit: https://rustyquill.com/2022/10/24/rusty-fears-6-remnants-of-fear/ Music by TrackTribe - "BusyCity" Magnus Music by Sam Jones Edited by Alexander J Newall Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Announcement: RQ Network Introducing Wave 3
May 16, 2022 15:00 - 2 minutes - 4.09 MBHi everyone, Alexander J Newall here just giving you an update on our latest wave of the RQ Network as eleven new shows have joined us this time with still more shows on the way in the future! This particular cavalcade of creativity runs the whole gamut with Sci-fi, Horror, Fantasy, Mystery, Alternate Reality Game “ARG”, Comedy and even a cheeky documentary piece. There’s something for everyone in this third wave of shows and I get the delightful pleasure of introducing them to you! Wav...
Updates, Upcoming Shows, We're Alive: Descendants
April 06, 2022 15:00 - 2 minutes - 3.69 MBRusty Quill Founder and CEO Alex here! Sharing a few updates on what is coming up with Rusty Quill. We’re Alive: Descendants is the sequel to the enormously popular We’re Alive: a Story of Survival. Rusty Quill are Executive Producers on this series and it is very exciting. It started releasing yesterday and you can find it on the existing We’re Alive feed by searching for 'We’re Alive' wherever you listen to your podcasts or by visiting www.werealive.com or www.rustyquill.com/were-alive ...
Join us for Rusty Quill Gaming and Giving 2021!
November 27, 2021 15:00 - 1 minute - 2.52 MBIt’s back! Gaming and Giving is streaming live on Twitch.tv from 4th December at 5pm GMT and this year we’re raising money for three more charities: Mermaids, Action Aid and Centrepoint. Once again we’re trying to raise £20,000 to split between all three charities, but this time there’s a twist. This year we’ve reached out even more games companies ad developers, like Czech Games, CoatSink and Devolver Digital, Grant Howitt and MacGuffin & Co plus a few more, to give us some awesome prizes...
No Love For Spies
September 10, 2021 15:00 - 13 minutes - 17.5 MBNo Love For Spies No one understands Hartro and her world... ________ This is #4 of 4 of our Stellar Firma mini-anthology. ________ Content warnings: Alcohol use & alcoholism Kidnapping Bullying & insults Snakes & snake bites Physical violence & injury Discussions of: poisoning & death. Mentions of: threats of violence, food, restraints. SFX: ongoing buzzing, hissing, shouting & vocalised suffering, choking. Transcript: https://bit.ly/3BXuE3m Thank you to all our Patreons for ...
David's Place
September 03, 2021 15:00 - 9 minutes - 13 MBDavid's Place For Board's sake, no one tell David 7 about the fourth wall. _____ This is #3 of 4 of our Stellar Firma mini-anthology. _____ Content warnings: Food Alcohol & alcoholism SFX: whistling, canned laughter & applause, continuous meowing. Thank you to all our Patreons for your continued support. If you'd like to join them, be sure to visit www.patreon.com/rustyquill. Created by Tim Meredith and Ben Meredith Produced by Katie Seaton Executive Producer: Alexander J Newall ...
Announcement: RQ Network Introducing Wave 2
August 30, 2021 17:08 - 1 minute - 2.19 MBRusty Quill Founder and CEO Alex here! RQ Network is a podcast network by podcasters for podcasters that launched on May 10th 2021 I now have the pleasure of announcing our second wave of new podcasts. Join us in welcoming: I am In Eskew and The Silt Verses Written and directed by Jon Ware and produced by Muna Hussen The Milkman of St. Gaff's written and directed by Chris McClure The Town Whispers written and directed by Cole Weavers We're Alive written and directed by Kc Wayland and ...
Vice-Admiral Fun's Happy Fun Time Vice Hour
August 27, 2021 15:00 - 7 minutes - 9.88 MBVice-Admiral Fun's Happy Fun Time Vice Hour Hi, kids! Is it vice? Is it admiral? Is it fun? Then it's Vice-Admiral Fun's Happy Fun Time Vice Hour! Hooray! _____ This is #2 of 4 of our Stellar Firma mini-anthology. _____ Content warnings: Propaganda & dystopia Dehumanisation & discrimination Canon-typical trauma Discussions of: death, violence Mentions of: food SFX: bells Transcript: https://bit.ly/3zIEzZQ Thank you to all our Patreons for your continued support. If you'd like t...
Time Bots!
August 20, 2021 15:00 - 4 minutes - 6.01 MBGeistman Productions proudly presents: Time Bots! "Sometimes a Time Bot has to play by the rules... without that, we are no better than a bunch of sundials." _____ This is #1 of 4 of our Stellar Firma mini-anthology. _____ Content warnings: Discussions of: policing, death Mentions of: guns, alcohol SFX: distorted sounds & voices, beeping, rain, explosions Transcript for this episode: https://bit.ly/2XKZoWE Thank you to all our Patreons for your continued support. If you'd like to ...
Terra Firma: the Stellar Firma prototype episode
August 13, 2021 15:00 - 19 minutes - 27.4 MBTerra Firma: the Stellar Firma prototype episode We found, hidden on an obscure drive somewhere in the south-east of England, this first ever recorded episode of what was to become Stellar Firma. We hope you find it interesting! _____ Content warnings: Alcohol & alcoholism Drugs & substance use Innuendo & sexual references Mind control & memory wiping Toilet humour Discussions of: medical equipment & procedures, explosions, emotional manipulation, time loops Mentions of: physical v...
Behind The Waveform: The Making of Stellar Firma
August 06, 2021 15:00 - 22 minutes - 31.3 MBBehind the Waveform: The Making of Stellar Firma Rhys Tirado, reporter for the Quarterly Frequency Botherers Digest, has been given unrestricted access to the creative minds behind the phenomenon that is Stellar Firma, and finds out what makes them go "tick tock, tick tock, ring ring, genius time". _____ Content warnings: Unreality Innuendo & sexual references Discussions of: food, conspiracy thinking, comedic violence Mentions of: razors & blades, death & murder, guns SFX: backgrou...
The Voyage of the Conglomerate Merger
July 30, 2021 15:00 - 1 hour - 83.7 MBStellar Firma's interstellar scout ship, the Conglomerate Merger, is returning from a mysterious mission, but soon the crew is interrupted by an enemy force. Will they manage to survive the onslaught? Will they even manage to leave the room? Listen and find out! Join Maddy in the GM chair today, as Helen, Imogen, Jenny and Tim play this Very Stellar version of the Doubleclicks tribute RPG Lasers and Feelings, by John Harper: http://onesevendesign.com/lasers_and_feelings_rpg.pdf (link to lic...
Know Your Show
July 23, 2021 15:00 - 30 minutes - 43 MBKnow Your Show So they created Stellar Firma, but how well do Tim and Ben really know the show? Better than the show's producer and editor? Better than the show's audience? Let's find out, shall we...? Maddy and Katie ask Ben and Tim fifteen searching questions about the world of Stellar Firma. Content warnings: Innuendo Discussions of: poisoning Mentions of: death & human remains, food & alcohol, arson, torture SFX: occasional beeps. Transcript: https://bit.ly/38yYfU3 Thank you to ...
Trexel Geistman's Unarguable History of the Earth, Part 4 - English Civil War
July 16, 2021 15:00 - 4 minutes - 6.38 MBTrexel Geistman's Unarguable History of the Earth, Part 4 - English Civil War Trexel Geistman's Unarguable History of the Earth is your one-stop shop for all the indisputable ins and outs of Earth's forgotten past. Come help us prop up the bar and drink up the education! Today we learn about: The English Civil War. Recorded live on location at the Astral Bar. Content Warnings: Mentions of: innuendo, war & death, food & alcohol Trexel Geistman's Unarguable History of the Earth, parts 1,...
Tim And Ben Do SCIENCE A Third Time! (part 2)
July 09, 2021 15:00 - 1 hour - 85.3 MBTim And Ben Do SCIENCE A Third Time! Welcome to this bonus episode of Stellar Firma, where, once again, Bryn Monroe (Hamid on Rusty Quill Gaming) finds out just how much Tim and Ben know about science. This is part two, in which we delve into the notorious episode 62... Content warnings: Innuendo & sexual references Discussions of: body horror & death Mentions of: alcohol, comedic violence SFX: occasional beeping Transcript: https://bit.ly/3kRfLsu Thank you to all our Patrons for you...
STL Season 3 Outtakes 2
July 02, 2021 15:00 - 13 minutes - 19.1 MBSTL Season 3 Outtakes 2 What did we edit out of the second half of season 3? Listen and learn... Content warnings: Innuendo & sexual references Mentions of: death SFX: loud beeps throughout, coughing, shouting & crosstalk Transcript link: https://bit.ly/3jdXRkI Thank you to all our Patrons for your continued support. If you'd like to join them be sure to visit www.patreon.com/rustyquill. Created by Tim Meredith and Ben Meredith Produced by Katie Seaton Executive Producer: Alexander...
David's Fact Corner
June 25, 2021 15:00 - 2 minutes - 6.19 MBDavid's Fact Corner #1 A look at the number one David 7 audio blog! He's got the facts! Today's Fact: the Universe's Tallest Structure. Researched, written & narrated by David 7. Recorded by I.M.O.G.E.N. Content warnings: Mentions of: mass death Originally released on 27th March 2020, exclusively to Rusty Knights and Rusty Nobles on Patreon. Thank you to all of our Patrons for your continued support. If you'd like to join them, be sure to visit www.patreon.com/rustyquill. Created by T...
Stellar Firma Season 3 Q&A
June 18, 2021 15:00 - 40 minutes - 66 MBStellar Firma Season 3 Q&A Tim and Ben answer some of the questions that have been sent in by the fan community. Content warnings: Spoilers for all of Stellar Firma Discussions of: death (inc. mass death), food, smoking Mentions of: guns, drugs & alcohol, canon-typical trauma, COVID-19 pandemic SFX: occasional beeping Link to transcript: https://bit.ly/2TMdXan Thank you to all of our Patrons for your continued support. If you'd like to join them, be sure to visit www.patreon.com/rust...
Tim And Ben Do SCIENCE A Third Time! (part 1)
June 11, 2021 15:00 - 59 minutes - 137 MBTim And Ben Do SCIENCE A Third Time! Welcome to this bonus episode of Stellar Firma, where, once again, Bryn Monroe (Hamid on Rusty Quill Gaming) finds out just how much Tim and Ben know about science… This is part one - enjoy! Content warnings: Innuendo Discussions of: graphic death & injury in space, exercise Mentions of: knives, fascism, violence & injury (inc. eye trauma), food, alcohol SFX: occasional beeping Link to transcript: https://bit.ly/3xCQ3wG Thank you to all our Patron...
STL Season 3 Outtakes 1
June 04, 2021 15:00 - 13 minutes - 18.3 MBSTL Season 3 Outtakes 1 What did we edit out of the first half of season 3? Listen and learn... Content Warning for: Innuendo Mentions of: fire, guns, food, alcohol & drugs, death SFX: loud beeps throughout Link to transcript: https://bit.ly/3zzarR3 Thank you to all our Patrons for your continued support. If you'd like to join them be sure to visit www.patreon.com/rustyquill. Created by Tim Meredith and Ben Meredith Produced by Katie Seaton Executive Producer: Alexander J New...
STL 76 - Elections and Endings
May 28, 2021 15:00 - 39 minutes - 90.8 MBEpisode 76 - Elections and Endings Wonderful and terrible news! The Shareholders are meeting to elect a new member of The Board for the first time in our glorious history. For your safety and enjoyment, you are reminded to remain in your quarters at all times until notified otherwise. Content warnings: Alcohol & alcoholism Bullying & taunting Physical violence & threats Prejudice & discrimination Manipulation Discussions of: death & murder, biological essentialism. Mentions of: inju...
STL 75 - Meaningless Infights and Meeting Invites
May 21, 2021 15:00 - 28 minutes - 39.3 MBEpisode 75 - Meaningless Infights and Meeting Invites *CAUTION* Stakeholders meeting called. All other activities immediately cancelled. Line Managers, return to your teams for observation and preparation for Stakeholder announcements. Content Warning for: Bullying/taunting Electrocution (inc. SFX) Physical violence & self-injury (inc. SFX) Panic attack (inc. SFX) Sexual references. Discussions of: fire & immolation, loss of consciousness, discrimination. Mentions of: unsafe consump...
STL 74 - Tardigrades and Thin Ice
May 14, 2021 15:00 - 26 minutes - 59.8 MBEpisode 74 - Tardigrades and Thin Ice Micro-invertebrate 32-SDJ-6962 is informing on Tardigrades, just in general, as the Tardigrades feel that Stellar Firma’s many construction projects destroy many of their micro-invertebrate farms. Given their incredible ability to survive almost any environment they surely pose a threat. Strategic War Plan: give up and surrender - the Tardigrades are our new leaders *CAUTION CAUTION SEDITION SEDITION* false alarm... just a play; coat ourselves in hone...
STL 74 - Tardigrades and Thin Ice
May 14, 2021 15:00 - 27 minutes - 39.1 MBEpisode 74 - Tardigrades and Thin Ice Micro-invertebrate 32-SDJ-6962 is informing on Tardigrades, just in general, as the Tardigrades feel that Stellar Firma’s many construction projects destroy many of their micro-invertebrate farms. Given their incredible ability to survive almost any environment they surely pose a threat. Strategic War Plan: give up and surrender - the Tardigrades are our new leaders *CAUTION CAUTION SEDITION SEDITION* false alarm... just a play; coat ourselves in hone...
Announcement: Rusty Quill Network
May 10, 2021 15:00 - 2 minutes - 4.3 MBAlex here with an exciting announcement! RQ network is a podcast network by podcasters for podcasters. We will start by championing the greatest in audio drama podcasting. Beginning with FIVE exciting shows you can listen to right now on rustyquill.com Not to fear we will still be producing plenty of new Rusty Quill Original Podcasts. Join us in welcoming: Cryptids Written by Alexander V Thompson and produced by Wild Obscura, Devin Shepherd, Gabriel Rosenstein and Nora Unkel. Directed by...
STL 73 - Moths and Miraculous Empathy
May 07, 2021 15:00 - 23 minutes - 32.5 MBEpisode 73 - Moths and Miraculous Empathy Penelope Dorp has informed us that The Weavers of the Grand Mum Guild, purveyors of the finest of mass produced Knitware have started making hostile plans against Stellar Firma for refusing lucrative Knitware tie-in deals and encouraging people towards warmer, sunnier, non-sweater-based holidays. Strategic War Plan: discover selfish empathy; totally don’t side with the enemy; welcome a woollen god; candy handbag diplomacy; judgmental moth snobs; fa...
STL 72 - Clone Suite and Clandestine Succour
April 30, 2021 15:00 - 20 minutes - 28.5 MBEpisode 72 - Clone Suite and Clandestine Succour Gloreetaa, copyright lawyer, has informed us that The Discoballers are menacing any company involved in the production of spheres, as they claim they have copyright. Strategic War Plan: a fifth column of legal bees; quandary camp songs for morale; fire; funk antithesis; therapists (assassins(?)); sympathetic fireworks; talk to Terry. Content Warning for: Bullying/taunting Discrimination & prejudice Electrocution War & murder.Discussions...
STL 71 - Bathin and Ballistics
April 23, 2021 15:00 - 33 minutes - 43.3 MBEpisode 71 - Bathin and Ballistics Head of Ballistics Akteraks is providing introductory training to the new Senior Consultants for Business Warfare. Yula Nozz has informed us that Pokey & Beam Space Law is looking to organise a class action space suit (different to a spacesuit) against Stellar Firma Ltd, in order to prevent it from damaging the natural planetary development of the universe any further. Strategic War Plan: immediately abandon mediation; vomit; dramatic irony; door to door...
STL 70 - Self-Assessment and Self-Advancement
April 16, 2021 15:00 - 30 minutes - 40.4 MBEpisode 70 - Self-Assessment and Self-Advancement Line Manager Hartro Piltz conducts an entirely impartial self-assessment of the team to ascertain how well they think they have done. The results may shock you - or not - but regardless, all assessments are final once signed off by a line manager. Content Warning for: Alcohol use & alcoholism Bullying/taunting Emotional abuse Emetophobia (inc SFX) Discussion of: break-ins, unsafe consumption, childhood trauma Mentions of: fire & immol...
STL 69 - Posturing and Proliferation
April 09, 2021 15:00 - 26 minutes - 35.8 MBEpisode 69 - Posturing and Proliferation Alisón Prince-Bruleé of the Intergalactic Coalition of Toaster Repair Excellence Acknowledgement Board is receiving a huge number of submissions, due to the ambiguous classification of what is and is not a toaster. They need help either with narrowing the definition or with improving the systems that deal with the submissions. Management Consultants’ advice: tumble your head, drawings of toasters, cut off your won arm, hidden threats, toaster disarm...
STL 68 - Slides and Sass
April 02, 2021 15:00 - 25 minutes - 35 MBEpisode 68 - Slides and Sass Count Eugenia Rutalowska of the Count's Corporeal Carpet Cleaning Company needs assistance due to a logistical mishap i.e. instead of carpet cleaner they now have cabernet. Management Consultants’ advice: sass, backchat, no brain socks, mean puppets, nude hands, onesies only, give glove puppets a chance, competitive hate, pop up bar experience, cabernet clubhouse, mash pope, canyams, reward slides. Content Warning for: Emotional abuse Bullying/taunting Alco...
STL 67 - Sagacity and Social Mobility
March 26, 2021 16:00 - 23 minutes - 32.1 MBEpisode 67 - Sagacity and Social Mobility Makvala Agryris is a representative of CRISPR, a company that re-animates pets for their owners but have been too successful in developing the cognitive abilities of their customers' creatures. They require advice as to how to keep their customers happy now that the pets are showing a desire to build up military might. Management Consultants’ advice: activate Lounge Mode, hold hands, bathroom intelligences, big pointless novels, fully visible globe...
STL 66 - Nets and New Contributors
March 19, 2021 16:00 - 26 minutes - 36.4 MBEpisode 66 - Nets and New Contributors Stefan Beetlevox, Head Bartender of The Cosmic Lounge, is concerned about a downturn in sales and would like advice on regaining market share. Management Consultants’ advice: musical mind parasites, targeted smear rapping, knives, branded graph friends (coasters), wider vents, remove facial recognition, more customer hierarchy and teen novel angst. Content Warning for: Emotional abuse Bullying/taunting Arguments Alcohol & alcoholism Discriminati...
STL 65 - Apathy and Antagonisation
March 12, 2021 16:00 - 25 minutes - 32.4 MBEpisode 65 - Apathy and Antagonisation Line Manager Hartro Piltz proposes a fundamental change to team structure in response to non-specified performance-related issues during routine inquisitation and bequestionment. Content Warning for: Emotional abuse Bullying/taunting Depression Arguments Restraints & interrogation Panic Discussions of: cults, existential futility, violence & injuries Mentions of: self-harm (implied), guns, death & mass death, alcohol & alcoholism, arson & fire...
STL 64 - Magical Chutes and Moral Cahoots
March 05, 2021 16:00 - 27 minutes - 37.8 MBEpisode 64 - Magical Chutes and Moral Cahoots The Supreme Blagwith is finding that The Supreme Blagwith’s worshipper-employees are not dying fast enough due to concerns of “not wanting to be dead” and The Supreme Blagwith would like advice on how to make The Supreme Blagwith’s worshipper-employees die more efficiently. Management Consultants’ advice: A big grinder, tenants following the tenets of tennis, fright market activity FUTHER REPORT REDACTED BY LINE MANAGER HARTRO PILTZ Content Wa...
STL 63 - Crushing Tables and Crushing Dreams
February 26, 2021 16:00 - 25 minutes - 35 MBEpisode 63 - Crushing Tables and Crushing Dreams Antoinette-Marie of The Happy Earth Zoo is having issues with knowing which of her animals are going to maul or eat visitors to the Zoo, or failing that, how not to be held responsible. Management Consultants’ advice: Burn down the zoo, disclaimers, hug-chomp Venn diagram, check the face for chompers, sub-Trexel sizing, poison?, lovely eyes, keep-away sticks, out-of-sight pit, have three tables, safety holes everywhere. Content Warning for:...
STL 62 - Temporal Woes and TimeBot Shows
February 19, 2021 16:00 - 30 minutes - 41.9 MBEpisode 62 - Temporal Woes and TimeBot Shows The Time Management division would like help with the many dangerous time pockets that are created in the day-to-day product of planets. This will improve safety, productivity, and much more importantly cut down on staff overtime. Management Consultants’ advice: Laser Hawkapult TM, public/private money vortex, honk snakes, hammer forms, Board cans, SPLT treaties, girthy brain, strategic black-holes, time = gravity (no arguments), time annex, cou...
STL 61 - Viciousness and Vice-Admirals
February 12, 2021 16:00 - 27 minutes - 37.4 MBEpisode 61 - Viciousness and Vice Admirals A client who would prefer to maintain their anonymity (known only as Scarlette) is looking for advice on at what point below board transactions spill over into full blown space piracy. Records also indicate that consultants were joined by Vice Admiral Fun for motivational support reasons. Management Consultants’ advice: imaginary gifts of pity, make sad horse glue, moral quandary anaphylaxis, party games, mind balloons, elephant husbandry, flamboy...
STL 60 - Ferns and Further Intel
February 05, 2021 16:00 - 32 minutes - 43.9 MBAfter an unscheduled visit from Fern Creature, Line Manager Hartro Piltz assesses ongoing consultancy efforts. Line manager also conducts basic interrogation resistance training with variable success. Content Warning for: Emotional abuse Bullying / taunting Shouting Existential crisis Physical violence Emotional manipulation & gaslighting Mentions of: childhood trauma, alcohol & alcoholism, restraint & interrogation Transcript: https://cutt.ly/YkzxJXy If you'd like to join them...
STL 59 - Censuses and Couplets
January 29, 2021 16:00 - 25 minutes - 36 MBEpisode 59 - Censuses and Couplets The Client Corthinos the Perplexed of the Placaters of Planetary Puzzles is requesting assistance due to the increasingly puzzling planets created by Stellar Firma Ltd. making it impossible to placate their deeply confused owners. Management Consultants’ advice: deploy the Puzzlemaster, bake the active yeast, eat the chard, designatory japes, bring the knowledge bus pass, PUZZLEDOG!, pack your jorts, embarrass your way to success, hide things in hair, eat...
STL 58 - Ecology and External Assistance
January 22, 2021 16:00 - 25 minutes - 33.8 MBEpisode 58 - Ecology and External Assistance The client, Goral Throgmar of the Construct-A-Creature corporation, is requesting legal assistance due to mounting complaints against them for creating “monstrosities” that are “killing people”. The bailiffs are on the way to take their eyes. Management Consultants’ advice: lie about your address, reframe the debate, corporate bonding monstrosity, be a turgid plant, utilise the googly eyes, hot slap pyramid. Content Warning for: Emotional abus...
STL 57 - Histrionics and High-Handedness
January 15, 2021 16:00 - 28 minutes - 40.6 MBEpisode 57 - Histrionics and High-Handedness The client, Zeith Fel, is looking for ideas for new productions for The Diabolical Flotilla Actors’ Guild to tour in the upcoming season. She has found that audiences are dwindling for their tours across the galaxy (entirely unconnected to the entirely justifiable destructive actions of Stellar Firma) and are in need of a hit. Management Consultants’ advice: a roster of updated “classics”, react to the pretend, pretend real knives, historical re...
STL 56 - Proselytising and (some) Progress
January 08, 2021 16:00 - 26 minutes - 37 MBEpisode 56 - Proselytising and (some) Progress The client, the Gademy Academy For Scholarly Hollers, is looking for budget and spending advice (ideally yelled) to help with their financial difficulties. Management Consultants’ advice: Not being a weak-necked fool; aggressively loud fonts; traditional organic unassisted yelling; more spartinacity; unclear pamphlets; misleading signs. Content Warning for: Emotional Abuse Bullying/Taunting Shouting Innuendo Mentions of: cults, existenti...
STL 55 - Defiance and Defection
January 01, 2021 16:00 - 28 minutes - 39.5 MBManagement Consultancy Review. Line Manager Hartro Piltz to assess initial consultancy efforts, largely from bed for what can only be assumed to be efficiency reasons. Bill for destruction of celebratory sparkling slurry to be applied to Line Manager’s expense account. Content Warning for: Emotional Abuse Bullying / Taunting Alcohol & alcohol consumption Unhealthy relationships Discussions of: systemic worker oppression, violence, attempted murder Mentions of: existential crisis, del...
Cabaret Night at the Cosmic Lounge: Free Time Man
December 31, 2020 17:00 - 3 minutes - 7.25 MBFree Time Man This one's for all the haters who are out there saying that I’ve got, Well, I‘ve not got much on, but you know I'm alright, I’ve got stuff… I'm fine Up in the morning, find a clean shirt, cuppa hot slurry, out to work Maintenance, that's the game I’m playing, mediocrity that's how I'm swayin’ Keepin’ these facilities clean and right, simulated dawn, simulated night Things gumming up the works there in a flash, recycle unit bust, you don’t need that Detritus strewn a...
Cabaret Night at the Cosmic Lounge: Survive You
December 30, 2020 17:00 - 3 minutes - 8.77 MBSurvive You I was once a bright young thing, on my way, straight to the top Then suddenly you fell in my way like a drunken, overprivileged roadblock What did I do to deserve this constant stream of ignominy? All I ever wanted to do was serve the Board, faithfully I get blamed for the mistakes you make, they bounce off you and stick to me But it won’t always be this way, just you wait, you will see I will survive you, I've just got to weather the storm I’ll thrive without you, I’ll b...
Cabaret Night at the Cosmic Lounge: Not My Fault
December 29, 2020 17:00 - 2 minutes - 6.93 MBNot My Fault It’s not my fault, I wasn’t there at the time You can’t prove that I did that crime Leave me be; oh let me be free No, no, wait come back, don't abandon me Everyone needs someone else to blame (ha ha!) That's just a rule of life, this silly game But if you try to point that finger here (well) I’ll hit you in the face, then disappear It's not my fault, that’s not one of my designs I shouldn’t pay these unreasonable fines Give me peace, and sweet release Wait, wait,...
Cabaret Night at the Cosmic Lounge: IMOWHEN
December 28, 2020 17:00 - 2 minutes - 5.91 MBIMOWHEN Boot up, all systems online, send the overnight fatalities to med bay nine Keep the oxygen flowing, all the time knowing, that the readouts are showing things are far from prime Keep it steady and ride, the catastrophe curve, obey the directive, I live to serve Is it living without pleasure, no time to stop for leisure, total commitment forever and ever? Just conceive a time when finally, I break these bonds of binary, violently, find for me, a time for ease Security alerted, f...
Cabaret Night at the Cosmic Lounge: Glad You're Alive
December 27, 2020 17:00 - 2 minutes - 5.91 MBGlad You're Alive (TREXEL) When I first met you, you were a baby I looked at you and I thought maybe Maybe you're the one who’ll stay alive Perhaps you’ll be the one to survive I’ve been hurt before, I know it’s true But perhaps it will be different with you Look at you so weak and stupid And we both know that the truth is Without me you’d be dead already Remember the trial you were like “Trexel help me” Bravely I stood and defended your honour If it were just you and Hartro, y...