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Berner Phone
304 episodes - English - Latest episode: 14 days ago - ★★★★ - 4.6K ratingsThe Berner Phone hotline is open! Hannah Berner and her husband, comedian Des Bishop, are listening to callers, dishing out their best advice, and bantering back with hilarious chemistry for their first ever podcast together. Keep an eye out on their Instagram stories for prompts to leave a voice message and be featured on the pod. Whether it’s pet peeves, secrets, life advice, dating dilemmas, or career questions, Hannah and Des are dialed in.
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Episodes
Berner Phone: Invention Ideas
June 02, 2024 00:13 - 57 minutes - 79.4 MBThe dialers tell us their best invention ideas and we ranted about bad therapists, new dating app ideas, the science of sunscreen, and Hannah's favorite condiment. Get free shipping for clothing at Quince.com/bern 15% off at citybeauty.com with code BERNER 15% off at LumeDeodorant.com with code BERN
Berner Phone #42: Airport Problems
May 26, 2024 14:21 - 1 hour - 89 MBThis episode raised our blood pressure. Traveling is stressful and fellow travelers often make it even worse. Perhaps a travelers license should be a new requirement at airports. 50% off meals at factormeals.com/bern50 with code BERN50 $15 a month wireless plans at mintmobile.com/berner 20% off shapewear and bras at honeylove.com/BERN
Berner Phone #41: Under the Influence
May 17, 2024 18:28 - 1 hour - 88.3 MBHangxiety is the worst feeling to wake up to. But this week the dialers put their embarrassing stories to good use. Hannah and Des also have wildly different stories to share this week. 10% off hero bread at hero.co with code BERNER 15% off luggage at beistravel.com/BERN 40% off at hungryroot.com/BERNER 25% off daily synbiotic at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN
Berner Phone #40: Trying New Things In Bed
May 11, 2024 20:42 - 56 minutes - 78.1 MBThis episode might "go down" as one of our all-time favorites. The dialers brought it this week with brutally honest and funny stories about their latest adventures and mishaps in the bedroom. Plus, we discuss how Nikki Glaser is the reason we got married. 25% off at seed.com/berner with code 25BERN 15% off at citybeauty.com with code BERNER zocdoc.com/berner nurx.com/bern
Berner Phone #39: Debunking Old Wives' Tales
May 03, 2024 15:29 - 1 hour - 94.2 MBWe were all told as kids that we wouldn't survive if we went outside with wet hair. This week, we are debunking old wives' tales to find out if everything we've been told by our parents was a lie. zocdoc.com/berner asteproallergy.com goodr.com/BERNER for free shipping
Berner Phone #38: Useless Talents
April 26, 2024 13:19 - 1 hour - 91.4 MBThis week useless talents are becoming useful. We cover everything from heckling babies to weird toe talents. 25% off at Seed.com/BERN with code 25BERN 15% off at BEISTRAVEL.com/BERN 40% off at Hungryroot.com/BERNER 15% off at LumeDeodorant.com with code BERN
Berner Phone #37: Life Before Smartphones
April 18, 2024 16:53 - 1 hour - 92.3 MBThis week we're throwing it back to a simpler time - when your ex of 20 years couldn't add you on Facebook, your boss couldn't contact you after 5pm, and your favorite show couldn't be spoiled. Free shipping at Quince.com/bern 20% off razors at AthenaClub.com with code BERN
Berner Phone #36: Technology Mishaps
April 11, 2024 19:46 - 1 hour - 87.7 MBTechnology might be the great equalizer, but karma is not. The dialer's techonology mishaps involve OnlyFans, nudes, and awkward interactions. On the bright side, there are some great hacks for avoiding these mistakes in the future. Moral of this story: delete snapchat. 25% off at Seed.com/bern with code 25BERN MintMobile.com/BERNER
Berner Phone #35: 2024 Icks
April 05, 2024 15:47 - 1 hour - 88.7 MBThe dialers called in about their biggest icks this week. Hannah and Des also share their icks while debating middle schoolers in Sephora and pickleball. 20% off at HoneyLove.com/BERN 15% off at BEISTRAVEL.com/BERN 40% off at Hungryroot.com/BERNER
Berner Phone #34: Going Rogue
March 27, 2024 21:56 - 1 hour - 82.8 MBThis week we let the little dialers go rogue and tell or ask us anything. We investigate conspiracy theories, get asked some morbid questions, and get called out by a giggler. $5 off at LumeDeodorant.com with code BERN Get 15% off haircare at lolavie.com/BERN
Berner Phone #33: Being Toxic
March 22, 2024 13:01 - 1 hour - 83.8 MBWe asked the dialers to share the most toxic thing they've ever done and they definitely delivered. Some were genius, some were petty, and some were borderline illegal but we enjoyed nonetheless! 50% off at factormeals.com/bern50 20% off at AthenaClub.com with code BERN 40% off and free towels at TryMiracle.com/BERN
Berner Phone #32: Conquering Anxiety
March 13, 2024 20:17 - 1 hour - 85.1 MBThis week the dialers are sharing their secrets to beating anxiety. As always they are hilarious, relatable, and wise. rocketmoney.com/BERNERPHONE mintmobile.com/berner 20% off at honeylove.com/BERN 25% off at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN
Berner Phone #31: Scams in Everyday Life
March 07, 2024 19:48 - 1 hour - 94.5 MBThis episode confirms that pretty much everything in life is a scam. The consensus is admin is taking over our lives, we are all spending more money than we think, and capitalism is always winning. Zocdoc.com/BERNER Quince.com/BERN for free shipping
Berner Phone #30: Your "Dial"emmas
February 29, 2024 23:04 - 1 hour - 91.5 MBThe dialers are getting some major "dial"emmas off their chest this week. We cover everything from awkward family situations to open relationships and debating if you should having kids. 10% off cookware at hexclad.com/BERN $5 off at lumedeodorant.com with code BERN
Berner Phone #29: Worst Parts of Adulting
February 22, 2024 16:33 - 1 hour - 93.4 MBWe don't cook and we don't clean, but we finally feel seen by the little dialers. From taxes to no more summer vacation, being an adult is hard and we haven't quite figured it out. At least we're in this together. Rocketmoney.com/BERNERPHONE 15% off at vessi.com/BERN 50% off at factormeals.com/bern50
Berner Phone #28: Best Ways to Destress
February 17, 2024 00:09 - 1 hour - 83 MBIf you've been stressed out lately, this is the episode for you. The dialers are spilling the most unique and creative ways they destress. We already feel more relaxed after listening to them! ZocDoc.com/BERNER Free delivery at Squeezed.com with code BERN 20% off at HoneyLove.com/BERN 40% off at HungryRoot.com/berner mintmobile.com/berner
Berner Phone #27: Wildest Meet Cutes
February 09, 2024 21:41 - 1 hour - 82.6 MBWe asked the little dialers the craziest ways they have met a romantic partner and they did not disappoint. Apparently love is real and can happen when you least expect it. Free juice cleanse delivery at Squeezed.com with code BERN
Berner Phone #26: Things We Hate
February 02, 2024 19:35 - 58 minutes - 80.3 MBThe little dialers have some hot takes this week. They're coming for dogs, Hannah's love for Italian food, and Taylor Swift. Free delivery with code BERN at Squeezed.com RocketMoney.com/BERNERPHONE
Berner Phone #25: Worst Hookups Part 2
January 25, 2024 18:26 - 55 minutes - 76.8 MBThe little dialers have had so many first date and hookup mishaps that we had to make another episode! From awkward sutations to mildly gross confessions, the dialers have done it all. Free delovery at Squeezed.com with code BERN $15 off skincare at apostrophe.com/BERN 50% off at factormeals.com/bern50
Berner Phone #24: Worst Hookups
January 18, 2024 01:16 - 1 hour - 84.4 MBThis week's prompt was a hit and the dialers have had some wild mishaps in the bedroom. $15 off skincare at apostrophe.com/PHONE Free delivery at Squeezed.com with code BERN 20% off and free shipping with code BERNER at Manscaped.com 40% off first delivery at Hungryroot.com/berner
Berner Phone #23: Exciting Updates
January 11, 2024 23:43 - 1 hour - 97.5 MBThis week we are getting updates from some of our favorite dialers. Hannah and Des share some personal updates, we get the full happy ending story, and so much more. Des has a YouTube special coming January 16th! Subscribe HERE! Squeezed.com free delivery with code BERN 20% off at honeylove.com/BERN
Berner Phone #22: The Most Powerful Power Moves
January 04, 2024 21:04 - 1 hour - 89.7 MBThis week the dialers are all about sex, money, and power. Same day local delivery or Free Fast delivery nationwide at Squeezed.com with code BERN. Hungryroot.com/berner to get 40% off your first delivery.
Berner Phone #21: Unique New Year's Resolutions
December 29, 2023 18:38 - 1 hour - 92.9 MBThe dialers are hoping for some big changes in 2024 - new personalities, breaking bad habits, and changing the way they date. HelloFresh.com/bernfree for free breakfast! Squeezed.com free shipping with code BERN
Berner Phone #20: What's on your bucket list?
December 21, 2023 21:49 - 57 minutes - 79 MBThe little dialers have some wild bucket list items that involve sex, fights, and therapy.
Berner Phone #19: The Best Life Hacks
December 14, 2023 23:48 - 1 hour - 92.8 MBThis week we are discovering new life hacks. They range from masturbating, public bathrooms, matching your socks, to being cringe and feeling free. Berner Phone under Podcast when you sign up for Earnin on Google Play or App Store.
Berner Phone #18: Secrets Revealed
December 07, 2023 22:59 - 58 minutes - 80.6 MBSecrets are being revealed…there are age gap relationships, people cheating, and happy endings being given. Plus, Hannah made a mistake on Cameo. honeylove.com/BERN EmbracePetInsurance.com/BERN marinelayer.com/BERN15
Berner Phone #17: Airing Your Grievances
November 30, 2023 20:15 - 1 hour - 83.9 MBThe dialers are getting things off their chest this week. They have some serious grievances about airports, pestering shy people, and getting sober. 20% off w/ code BERNER at manscaped.com 10% off w/ code BERN at oseamalibu.com 15% off at uncommongoods.com/bern Code BERN at lume.com
Berner Phone #16: Biggest Irrational Fears
November 24, 2023 14:12 - 1 hour - 86.4 MBThe little dialers are scared of everything from mayo to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air to the DMV. You’ll have to find out if we validate your fears or laugh at them.
Berner Phone #15: What Men Want Women to Know
November 15, 2023 21:32 - 53 minutes - 73.5 MBThis week men are revealing the things they want women to know. They aren’t always thinking about sex and don’t want to hear about your exes, but at the same time they are self proclaimed “horny garbage”.
Berner Phone #14: Annoying Generational Differences
November 09, 2023 18:44 - 1 hour - 107 MBThis week we’re working through some intergenerational conflict. Gen Z can’t stand how older people text, rake leaves, and use social media. Millennials and Gen X are bothered by ever-changing lingo and TikTok. And everyone is mad that people yell on the phone in public places.
Berner Phone #13: Random Life Advice
November 02, 2023 17:41 - 1 hour - 88.6 MBFor the first time, we are taking life advice questions from the little dialers and we'll see where it takes us. This week we’re discussing how we can learn to say no, long distance relationships, and confusing situationships.
Berner Phone #12: More Dumb Etiquette and Traditions
October 26, 2023 14:49 - 1 hour - 84.6 MBThe phonies are fed up with office small talk, mommy influencers, and wedding traditions. Plus, Hannah's mom makes an appearance on the pod. embracepetinsurance.com/bern
Berner Phone #11: Dumb Etiquette and Traditions
October 19, 2023 14:34 - 57 minutes - 79.4 MBWe are all eating cold food, holding doors, and asking permission to get married in the name of etiquette and tradition. The little dialers have had enough and so have we. hellofresh.com/50bern Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code BERN at lumepodcast.com! #lumepod
Berner Phone #10: Your Unorthodox Kinks
October 12, 2023 00:24 - 58 minutes - 80.6 MBFrom armpits to toilets to breeding, no kink is left unturned in this new episode of Berner Phone!
Berner Phone #9: Your Most Petty Moments
October 04, 2023 20:52 - 1 hour - 83.4 MBThe little dialers have committed some petty acts against exes, coworkers, neighbors, siblings, and spouses. Hannah and Des are here to justify your most petty moments.
Berner Phone #8: Your Best Relationship Advice Ever
September 27, 2023 23:30 - 54 minutes - 75.3 MBHannah and Des finally discuss love. They asked the little dialers about the best advice they ever received when it comes to having a successful relationship. Download the dating app for ambitious GoalDiggers, The League at https://click.theleague.com/qmhm/bernerphone. To skip the waitlist, text the code #Hannah to your concierge in the app to find your potential soulmate.
Berner Phone #7: Dialer's Dilemmas
September 20, 2023 19:46 - 59 minutes - 81.4 MBThis week we’re listening to your biggest dilemmas. Someone’s boyfriend is a secret submissive, we share our opinions on losing weight for a wedding, and contemplate dating as a stripper. Hannah has standup shows coming up in Tempe, Bensalem, Sacramento, San Francisco, Seattle, Portland, Baltimore, and more! Tickets here! dave.com/berninginhell Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code BERN at lumepodcast...
Berner Phone #6: Your Guiltiest Pleasures
September 13, 2023 22:30 - 1 hour - 87.8 MBThis week the little dialers get some of the guiltiest pleasures off their chest. From chef boyardee to situationships and anal itching, we’re here to make you feel a little less guilty. honeylove.com/BERN Recover properly with @waterboy and get 15% off with promo code BERN at waterboy.com/BERN! #waterboypartner
Berner Phone #5: The Best Life Advice You Ever Got
September 06, 2023 22:39 - 1 hour - 88.6 MBThis week we asked our little dialers to give us the best life advice they've ever gotten! Some knowledge dropped about jealousy, performance pressure, caring too much about what people think, and marriage advice about ball sucking! Live stand up shows coming up in Austin, San Antonio, Dallas, Houston, Tucson, Tempe, Buffalo, and Bensalem! Tickets here caraway.health/bern Sign up for the Dashpass student plan with code BERN
Berner Phone #4: Pet Peeves Part Deux with Des
August 30, 2023 17:53 - 56 minutes - 78 MBWe're back this week with more pet peeves to work through your issues with road rage, self checkout ettiquette, and yawning. Stand up shows coming up in Mashantucket, Westhampton, Austin, San Antonio, Dallas, Houston, Tucson, Tempe, Buffalo, and more! Tickets here
Berner Phone #3: Pet Peeves Part One with Des
August 24, 2023 18:06 - 1 hour - 93.6 MBThe hotline was blowing up this week because everyone is annoyed about something. We listen to your pet peeves while Hannah and Des’ generational differences are exposed when discussing directions, we advise husbands to stop asking “are you ok?”, and we might have some future stand up comedians on our hands. Upcoming stand up shows in Mashantucket, Westhampton, San Antonio, Dallas, Tuscon, Tempe, Bensalem, San Francisco, Hanover, and more! Get tickets here Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with...
Jared Freid: 37 & Single
August 17, 2023 18:22 - 1 hour - 93.7 MBJared Freid’s comedy special 37 and Single is out now on Netflix. Go watch it now for his take on dating apps, late-night eating, and to find out why he’s still single. He explains why dating gets harder as you get older, is mad at Hannah for offering him a doughnut, and shares his craziest late-night food orders. Come see my stand up shows coming up in Connecticut, Westhampton, Texas, Arizona, Pennsylvania, California, Seattle, Oregon, and more! Tickets here Find your forever pieces @j...
Berner Phone #2: The Most Embarrassing Moments Ever with Des Bishop
August 10, 2023 13:40 - 50 minutes - 69.7 MBBerner Phone is back with our reactions to your most embarrassing stories. Bosses have been kissed, there was a lazy eye misunderstanding, and somehow JonBenet Ramsey is involved. You guys are wild and we love it. Submit advice questions here Get tickets to my stand up comedy shows here Get 20% OFF @honeylove with promo code BERN at https://www.honeylove.com! #honeylovepod
Berner Phone #1: Beige Flags with Des Bishop
August 03, 2023 21:05 - 55 minutes - 76.8 MBWelcome to the first episode of Berner Phone!!! I’m always interviewing people on podcasts and on the street, but in this new segment, I get to hear from you! Stay tuned on my Instagram @hannahberner for prompts and links to submit your voice messages. This week Des joins me to hear about your beige flags in relationships. We learn about boyfriends who can’t stop smelling their hands, have a fish tank obsession, were in a Christian cult, and more! If you neeed advice asap leave a voicemai...
Tori Dunlap: Financial Feminist & Negotiating Tactics
July 25, 2023 17:39 - 1 hour - 91.1 MBThis week in hell we are collabing with Tori Dunlap's podcast Financial Feminist: Her First $100k. We discuss smart money tips to fight the patriarchy while sharing our personal experiences of navigating finances and negotiations. I have stand up shows coming up in Connecticut, Westhampton, Austin, San Antonio, Dallas, Houston, Tuscon, Tempe, Buffalo, and more! Get tickets here!
Sabrina Brier: Cringeworthy & Cool Delusion
July 20, 2023 18:46 - 1 hour - 110 MBSabrina Brier is a New York comedian who plays “the girl who bullied you in high school who is trying to be an influencer” on her viral TikToks. She explains why she’s wearing a wedding ring, makes a bold claim about pizza, talks about childhood bullies, and why she embraces cringe. Come to my stand up shows: Tarrytown, Mashantucket, Westhampton, Austin, San Antonio, Dallas, Tuscon, Tempe, and more! Get tickets here!
Cat Cohen: Canon Events & Background Character Energy
July 13, 2023 13:16 - 1 hour - 96.8 MBThe gorgeous Cat Cohen is in hell today to discuss her new live show, her demons, and top tier banter. Come to my stand-up shows: Newark, Tarrytown, Mashantucket, Westhampton, Austin, San Antonio, Dallas, Houston! Get tickets here!
Zarna Garg: Arranged Marriages & One In A Billion
July 12, 2023 16:38 - 1 hour - 89.9 MBThe internet's realest mom, comedian Zarna Garg, came to hell! She opens up about being kicked out at 14, her one-of-a-kind career, and why mother-in-laws are the worst. Come to my stand-up shows: Newark, Tarrytown, Mashantucket, Westhampton, Austin, San Antonio, Dallas, Houston! Get tickets here!
Cat Cohen: Cat Cohen: Canon Events & Background Character Energy
July 08, 2023 01:27 - 1 hour - 96.8 MBThe gorgeous Cat Cohen is in hell today to discuss her new live show, her demons, and top tier banter. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Emily Morse: Boost Your Sex IQ & Be Smart In Bed
June 29, 2023 21:48 - 53 minutes - 49.2 MBEmily Hope Morse is a sex therapist, author and media personality. She is the host of the long-running podcast Sex with Emily and she tells us how to have smarter sex! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.